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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS<br />

to identify how they feel; those who are relaxed about<br />

status distinctions don't usually produce any submissive<br />

tells at all, whereas those who feel that they are intruding<br />

on an important person are likely to reveal their discomfort<br />

by dipping their head very slightly.<br />

• HEAD-NOD TELLS. Repetitive nodding is also an integral<br />

part <strong>of</strong> conversation. You <strong>of</strong>ten see people who are in the<br />

listener role nodding slowly while the other person is<br />

speaking. <strong>The</strong>y do this both to show that they are listening<br />

and to demonstrate that they don't want to take over<br />

the speaker's role. Fast nodding also shows that the<br />

listener understands the speaker, but because it contains<br />

a sense <strong>of</strong> urgency, it shows either that the listener<br />

supports the speaker wholeheartedly or that the<br />

listener wants to take over the speaker's role. So while<br />

slow nodding sends the message, 'I understand what<br />

you're saying and I want to continue listening', fast<br />

nodding sends one <strong>of</strong> two messages - either 'I totally<br />

agree with you' or 'I understand you, but hurry up, I want<br />

to say something now!' <strong>The</strong> distinction between these last<br />

two messages usually depends on where the listener is<br />

looking - at the speaker when he or she is being<br />

supportive, and away from the listener when he or she<br />

wants the floor.<br />

• HEAD-CANT TELLS. As we've seen, submissive people<br />

frequently lower their head or cant it to one side. Headcanting<br />

serves as an appeasement display because it<br />

exposes the neck, which is a vulnerable part <strong>of</strong> the body,<br />

and because it makes the person look shorter and therefore<br />

less threatening. It also makes the person look<br />

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