The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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10. Lying Tells A lot of the things that we say to other people aren't true - they're fibs, fudges, fabrications, falsehoods and barefaced lies. It has been estimated that we lie to a third of the people we meet each day. Lying is especially common when people are trying to impress each other, and that's why it's so prevalent in dating and courtship. Robert Feldman at the University of Massachusetts found that 60 per cent of the people who took part in one of his studies lied at least once during a 10-minute meeting, and that most of them told two or three lies in that time.' Research on lying shows that there is no difference in the numbers of lies told by men and women, but that there are differences in the types of lies they tell - men are more likely to produce lies that are designed to make them look impressive, while women are more likely to tell lies that are intended to make other people feel good. 2 Women are generally more inclined than men to express positive opinions, both about the things they like and the things they don't like. Consequently, when women are faced with the possibility of upsetting someone - for example 284
LYING TELLS when they're given a present they don't want - they're more likely to try and protect the other person's feelings by telling a white lie. Some people consider lying to be a crime, regardless of how big or small the lie is and what effect it has, while others feel that certain lies are legitimate, possibly even necessary. For example, when a woman asks her husband whether he likes her new hairstyle, she's usually inviting him to say something complimentary rather than to give an honest opinion. The husband who makes the mistake of telling his wife that he doesn't like her new hairstyle is asking for trouble. So is the wife who offers her husband less than fulsome praise when he asks her what she thinks about his performance on the sports field, or the speech he gave at the office party. Lying lubricates interpersonal relations; without lies our social life would soon grind to a complete halt. People differ enormously in their propensity to lie. At one extreme are the 'George Washingtons', who model themselves on the American President who could not tell a lie; while at the other extreme are the 'Machiavellis', who model themselves on the Florentine statesman who advocated lying as a legitimate means of achieving one's goals. People who score high on measures of manipulation are more likely to tell lies, and not to feel bad about it. The same is true of people who are highly expressive and sociable. People who frequently lie tend to be very popular - probably because their ingratiating lies endear them to others. 3 Con artists, hoaxers and politicians have to be accomplished liars; in fact an ability to project an image of honesty, without feeling any sense of guilt about it, is an essential feature of their role. Sales people also 285
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
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THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
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THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
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2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
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THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
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THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
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THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
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THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
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THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
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THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
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THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
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THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
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THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
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THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
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THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
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THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
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THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
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4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
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THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they
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THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
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7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was
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THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels
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THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
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THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
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THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
Page 235 and 236: ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
Page 237 and 238: ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
Page 239 and 240: ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
Page 241 and 242: ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
Page 243 and 244: ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
Page 245 and 246: SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
Page 247 and 248: SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
Page 249 and 250: SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
Page 251 and 252: SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
Page 253 and 254: SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
Page 255 and 256: SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
Page 257 and 258: SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
Page 259 and 260: SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
Page 261 and 262: SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
Page 263 and 264: SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
Page 265 and 266: SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
Page 267 and 268: SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
Page 269 and 270: SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
Page 271 and 272: SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
Page 273 and 274: SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
Page 275 and 276: SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
Page 277 and 278: SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
Page 279 and 280: SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
Page 281 and 282: SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
Page 283: SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
Page 287 and 288: LYING TELLS in their ability to det
Page 289 and 290: LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
Page 291 and 292: LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
Page 293 and 294: LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
Page 295 and 296: LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
Page 297 and 298: LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
Page 299 and 300: LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
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Page 303 and 304: LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
Page 305 and 306: LYING TELLS work involved in produc
Page 307 and 308: 11. Foreign Tells When people speak
Page 309 and 310: FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
Page 311 and 312: FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
Page 313 and 314: FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
Page 315 and 316: FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
Page 317 and 318: FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
Page 319 and 320: FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
Page 321 and 322: FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
Page 323 and 324: FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
Page 325 and 326: FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
Page 327 and 328: FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
Page 329 and 330: SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
Page 331 and 332: SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
Page 333 and 334: SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
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SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
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SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
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SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
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SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
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SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
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SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
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13. Tell-tales You're going to work
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TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
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TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
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TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
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TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
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Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
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NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
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NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
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NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
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NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
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NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
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NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
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NOTES female attractiveness and des
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NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
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NOTES salespersons and customers be
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NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
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NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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