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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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TELLS<br />

It's the same when people pat each other on the back. If<br />

you watch people hugging you'll notice that one or both<br />

parties will sometimes pat the other on the back. To us as<br />

observers, to the person who's being patted, and even to<br />

the person who's doing the patting, this appears to be a<br />

gesture <strong>of</strong> affection. But it's not - it's actually a signal to<br />

release! Although people don't realize it, they always<br />

respond to being patted on the back by bringing the hug<br />

to a close. Although the person who's been patted on the<br />

back has silently been instructed to let go, there isn't any<br />

feeling <strong>of</strong> rejection. That's because the release signal<br />

operates by stealth, pretending to be a gesture <strong>of</strong> affection<br />

while it's actually giving a command.<br />

Genuine <strong>Tells</strong><br />

Genuine tells show what's really happening in people's<br />

heads. <strong>The</strong>y <strong>of</strong>ten reveal things about people that they<br />

don't want others to know, and in some cases are actively<br />

trying to conceal from others. However, there are some<br />

actions that pretend to be tells, but which aren't. <strong>The</strong>se are<br />

not real tells - they're false tells. <strong>The</strong>re are several differences<br />

between genuine tells and false tells. First <strong>of</strong> all,<br />

unintentional tells tend to be genuine. Blushing, sweating<br />

and pupil dilation, for example, operate outside conscious<br />

control. This means that there's no opportunity for bluffing<br />

- people cannot fake blushing or make themselves sweat<br />

or make their pupils dilate to order. Consequently, when<br />

someone's face reddens we can be sure that they're feeling<br />

self-conscious, and when we see someone sweating we<br />

can be certain that they're either hot or bothered, or both.<br />

21

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