The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and influential when they go on to work together in a group. 29 In a business firm, if the boss and a subordinate happen to look at each other at the same time, it's usually the subordinate who breaks off first. Veiled challenges to the boss can, however, be delivered through the eyes. For example, instead of openly disagreeing with the boss, a subordinate can simply engage him in a subtle bout of 'ocular arm-wrestling', holding his gaze for slightly longer than he would normally do. If carefully timed, this can have the desired effect, without appearing to be disrespectful. In conversations between people of unequal status, dominant individuals usually show 'visual dominance' - that is, they spend proportionately more time looking at the other person while they are talking than they do while they are listening. 30 There are several reasons for this. First of all, because talking is a more controlling activity than listening, dominant individuals like to hang on to the speaker role. To do this they watch the other person closely, making sure that they're listening and that they're not about to try and take over. The opposite happens when dominant people find themselves in the listening role. Now, by reducing the amount of time they spend looking, they can show that they're not prepared to flatter the other person and that they don't expect to remain in the listening role for much longer. Subordinate people, on the other hand, spend proportionately more time looking while listening than looking while talking. By being more attentive in the listening role they manage to reinforce the dominant person's feelings of self-importance, which may of course only encourage the dominant person to talk even more. 68
DOMINANT TELLS The reason why subordinate individuals look less while talking is probably due to their sense of insecurity. The listener is always judging the speaker. Dominant people don't mind this aspect of the speaker role - it doesn't upset them to know that a subordinate person is judging them. Subordinate people, however, are understandably anxious about how they appear when they are talking to dominant people. To reduce this anxiety they simply look at the dominant person less. Relaxation is an essential feature of dominance. 31 It's displayed by sinuous and slow movements of the body. That's because the actions of dominant people are governed by the 'principle of economy', whereas those of subordinate individuals are governed by the 'principle of effort'. Subordinate people tend to be unsure of themselves when they're in the presence of dominant people. Like low-ranking chimpanzees, they're constantly on the lookout for trouble. This shows itself in their general demeanour and in rapid, jerky movements of the eyes. Dominant people are much more sure of themselves, so their eye movements tend to be smooth and unhurried. Many years ago, when I was in the West African state of Burkina Faso, I was fortunate to have an audience with the Emperor of the Mossi. I was ushered into a reception room, where the Emperor sat, surrounded by his courtiers, The Emperor was a large man, with a very imposing Presence. What struck me was how little the Emperor actually did for himself- actions that most people would normally do for themselves, like pouring a glass of water, were performed by the courtiers and servants who fussed around him. When he shifted his body or spoke, it was with enormous economy of movement. At times the only 69
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
Page 18 and 19: THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
Page 20 and 21: THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
Page 22 and 23: THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
Page 24 and 25: THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
Page 26 and 27: THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
Page 28 and 29: THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
Page 30 and 31: THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
Page 32 and 33: THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
Page 34 and 35: THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
Page 36 and 37: 2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
Page 38 and 39: THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
Page 40 and 41: THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
Page 42 and 43: THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
Page 44 and 45: THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
Page 46 and 47: THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
Page 48 and 49: THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
Page 50 and 51: THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
Page 52 and 53: THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
Page 54 and 55: THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
Page 56 and 57: THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
Page 58 and 59: THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
Page 60 and 61: THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
Page 62 and 63: THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
Page 64 and 65: THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
Page 66 and 67: THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
Page 70 and 71: THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
Page 72 and 73: THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
Page 74 and 75: THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
Page 76 and 77: THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
Page 78 and 79: THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
Page 80 and 81: THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
Page 82 and 83: THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
Page 84 and 85: THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
Page 86 and 87: THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
Page 88 and 89: THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
Page 90 and 91: THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
Page 92 and 93: THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
Page 94 and 95: THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
Page 96 and 97: THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
Page 98 and 99: THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
Page 100 and 101: THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
Page 102 and 103: THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
Page 104 and 105: 4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
Page 106 and 107: THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
Page 108 and 109: THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
Page 110 and 111: THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
Page 112 and 113: THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
Page 114 and 115: THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
Page 116 and 117: THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
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THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they
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THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
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7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was
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THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels
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THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
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THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
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THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
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ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
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ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
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ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
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ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
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ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
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SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
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SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
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SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
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SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
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SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
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SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
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SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
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SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
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SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
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SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
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SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
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SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
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SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
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SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
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SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
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SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
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LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
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LYING TELLS in their ability to det
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LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
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LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
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LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
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LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
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LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
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LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
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LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
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LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
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LYING TELLS work involved in produc
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11. Foreign Tells When people speak
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FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
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FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
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FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
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FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
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FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
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FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
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FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
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FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
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FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
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FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
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SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
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SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
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SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
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SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
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SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
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SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
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SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
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SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
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SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
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13. Tell-tales You're going to work
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TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
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TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
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TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
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TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
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Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
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NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
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NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
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NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
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NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
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NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
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NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
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NOTES female attractiveness and des
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NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
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NOTES salespersons and customers be
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NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
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NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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