The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

CONVERSATION TELLS
gracefully waving, just as when I left him. He had never
missed me. 14
Talk Tells
When we're talking to people, we tend to focus on what
they say, rather than how they say it or the precise
expressions they use. Careful attention to the actual words
that people use can often provide a unique insight into
what they are thinking. 15
• PRONOUNS. People who frequently use the word 'I'
tend to be concerned with themselves, although it does
depend on the context in which the word is used. Those
who prefer to use 'we' are often trying to avoid making
any reference to themselves as individuals. Use of 'we'
can also denote an inclusive frame of mind - for
example, one man might go on holiday with his wife and
then talk about the experience using the word 'I', while
another might use the word 'we' to give the impression
that he'd been on holiday with his wife, even though he
hadn't. Then there's the use of the royal 'we'. A famous
and rather revealing example of this occurred after the
birth of Margaret Thatcher's grandchild, when she
announced to the press, 'We are a grandmother'.
• ATTRACTORS. People differ widely in terms of how
comfortable they are with being the centre of attention.
Individuals who like to be in the limelight tend to talk
about themselves. They also show a preference for
'dropping', which can take the form of 'name-dropping',
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