The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS early this morning, and that your secretary had been crying because her boyfriend walked out on her last night? There are several reasons why you failed to spot these tell-tale signs. Like most other people, you're quick to notice changes to your physical environment, but slow to spot changes in the people around you. It's not that they're unimportant - in fact they mean a lot to you. It's just that you've come to take them for granted. You're comforted by the knowledge that they don't change, and that - like the characters in the film Groundhog Day - they're always there, doing the same thing day after day. This is all linked to what psychologists call 'change blindness'. Change blindness takes several forms, one of which is the inability to notice how people have changed. In a clever experiment conducted by Daniel Simons and Dan Levin at Harvard, the experimenter approached strangers on the campus and innocently asked them for directions. 1 Imagine for a moment that you're one of the unsuspecting subjects who took part in the experiment. You're walking across the campus when a stranger approaches you and asks you for directions. While you're talking to him, two workmen walk between you and the stranger, carrying a large wooden door. Naturally you feel irritated by this interruption, but after the workmen have moved on you continue giving directions to the stranger. When you've finished, the stranger thanks you and informs you that you have just taken part in an experiment. 'Did you notice anything different after the two men passed by with the door?' he asks. 'No,' you reply, 'I didn't notice anything at all.' He then explains that he's not the same man who originally approached you for directions. The original man walked off behind the door, leaving the 348
TELL-TALES present man behind in his place to continue the conversation! At this point the first man walks over and joins you. Looking at the two of them, standing there together, you can see how very different they are. Not only do they differ in height and build, but they're also dressed differently and have very different voices. If you had behaved in this way, you would not have been alone, because more than half of the people who took part in the experiment failed to notice the difference between the two men. After the workmen had disappeared and the switch had taken place, the subjects continued to give directions as though nothing unusual had happened. This experiment shows that while we think we notice what's happening around us, a lot of the time we don't. Not only are we oblivious to the changes that take place in people's appearance, but we're also insensitive to the words, gestures and expressions they use. In addition to suffering from 'change blindness', we're also afflicted with tell blindness. There are three reasons why we don't notice tells. The first is a 'failure of observation' - we simply don't pay enough attention to what people say and do. The second is a 'failure of recognition' - we notice that people are behaving in certain ways, but we don't recognize their actions as being informative. The third is a 'failure of interpretation' - we recognize that there's something informative about someone's behaviour, but we can't see what it reveals about them; in other words, we can't read the tells. These failures can be remedied by developing what Charles Darwin called the 'habit of minute observation' - watching people closely, paying attention to details, comparing people in different situations, and 349
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
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THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
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THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
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2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
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THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
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THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
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THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
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THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
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THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
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THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
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THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
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THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
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THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
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THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
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THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
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THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
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THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
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4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
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THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they
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THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
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7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was
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THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels
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THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
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THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
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THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
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ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
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ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
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ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
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ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
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ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
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SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
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SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
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SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
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SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
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SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
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SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
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SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
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SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
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SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
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SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
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SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
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SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
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SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
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SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
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SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
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SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
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LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
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LYING TELLS in their ability to det
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LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
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LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
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LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
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LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
Page 297 and 298: LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
Page 299 and 300: LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
Page 301 and 302: LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
Page 303 and 304: LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
Page 305 and 306: LYING TELLS work involved in produc
Page 307 and 308: 11. Foreign Tells When people speak
Page 309 and 310: FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
Page 311 and 312: FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
Page 313 and 314: FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
Page 315 and 316: FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
Page 317 and 318: FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
Page 319 and 320: FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
Page 321 and 322: FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
Page 323 and 324: FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
Page 325 and 326: FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
Page 327 and 328: FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
Page 329 and 330: SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
Page 331 and 332: SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
Page 333 and 334: SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
Page 335 and 336: SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
Page 337 and 338: SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
Page 339 and 340: SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
Page 341 and 342: SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
Page 343 and 344: SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
Page 345 and 346: SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
Page 347: 13. Tell-tales You're going to work
Page 351 and 352: TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
Page 353 and 354: TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
Page 355 and 356: TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
Page 357 and 358: Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
Page 359 and 360: NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
Page 361 and 362: NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
Page 363 and 364: NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
Page 365 and 366: NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
Page 367 and 368: NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
Page 369 and 370: NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
Page 371 and 372: NOTES female attractiveness and des
Page 373 and 374: NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
Page 375 and 376: NOTES salespersons and customers be
Page 377 and 378: NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
Page 379: NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
Page 382 and 383: THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
Page 384 and 385: THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
Page 386 and 387: THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
Page 388 and 389: THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
Page 390 and 391: THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
Page 392 and 393: THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
Page 394 and 395: THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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