The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

THE BOOK OF TELLS
competing with each other. When people start to close a
conversation, one of the things they do is move away.
Similarly, to show that the relationship is still important,
they move towards the other person. In order to signal
that they want to bring the encounter to a close and that
their relationship is still intact, people frequently end up
moving back and forth. It's the alternation of these two
types of signal that gives rise to the yo-yo phenomenon.
Before people physically separate, they may hug, kiss or
shake hands - the decision often depends on what they
did when they greeted each other. However, this doesn't
necessarily mean the end of the separation phase, because
they will often recycle some of the earlier elements of the
ritual, sometimes repeating the entire sequence before
they actually move away from each other. The 'withdrawal
phase' of the parting is often fairly straightforward - one or
both people simply turn on their heel and walk away. But
even at this late stage in the proceedings there are tells that
reveal what people are thinking.
When people are approaching each other they usually
focus on the front of their body - adjusting their tie,
buttoning up their jacket or rearranging the front of their
hair. However, when people move away from each other
they usually focus their attention on the back of their body
because they know that this is most likely to be noticed by
the other person. The way that people adjust the back of
their body is often a giveaway. For example, when someone
smooths the back of their hair just as they are about to
withdraw, it shows that they recognize - even unconsciously
- that they may be observed from behind as
they walk away.
The habit of attending to the back of one's body prior to
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