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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

THE BOOK OF TELLS

THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with each other. When people start to close a conversation, one of the things they do is move away. Similarly, to show that the relationship is still important, they move towards the other person. In order to signal that they want to bring the encounter to a close and that their relationship is still intact, people frequently end up moving back and forth. It's the alternation of these two types of signal that gives rise to the yo-yo phenomenon. Before people physically separate, they may hug, kiss or shake hands - the decision often depends on what they did when they greeted each other. However, this doesn't necessarily mean the end of the separation phase, because they will often recycle some of the earlier elements of the ritual, sometimes repeating the entire sequence before they actually move away from each other. The 'withdrawal phase' of the parting is often fairly straightforward - one or both people simply turn on their heel and walk away. But even at this late stage in the proceedings there are tells that reveal what people are thinking. When people are approaching each other they usually focus on the front of their body - adjusting their tie, buttoning up their jacket or rearranging the front of their hair. However, when people move away from each other they usually focus their attention on the back of their body because they know that this is most likely to be noticed by the other person. The way that people adjust the back of their body is often a giveaway. For example, when someone smooths the back of their hair just as they are about to withdraw, it shows that they recognize - even unconsciously - that they may be observed from behind as they walk away. The habit of attending to the back of one's body prior to 194

GREETING TELLS leaving is very much the prerogative of women, simply because women are more likely to be judged or admired from behind than men. Women will sometimes put their hand behind them and pull their jersey down over their bottom as they're about to walk away. This is the hind-hide tell, and it shows that the woman in question is worried about the size of her bottom. Women who are proud of their backside, or who wish to draw attention to it, are more likely to flatten out their dress or to position their hands close to their bottom before they walk away. While people are moving away, they sometimes enter a 'farewell phase', where they throw a glance over their shoulder, or turn around and wave, before continuing on their way. When the parting is inconsequential people don't turn around. But when the parting has an emotional significance they often experience a strong temptation to turn around and have a final look at the other person before going on their way. One of the reasons why people turn round is that they regret the parting and don't want the separation to take place. Another motive is to check whether the other person is still watching them - when you've just left someone it's always reassuring to discover that they haven't broken off yet, and that they're watching you until you finally disappear from view. Partings, like greetings, are all about ratifying relationships and providing the other person with reassurances. The fact that these goals are regularly achieved by the exchange of brief utterances and fleeting gestures shows what a crucial role tells play in our lives. 195

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    AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha

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    Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0

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    Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2

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    Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t

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    2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.

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    4. Conversation Tells The most obvi

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp

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    SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac

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    SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign

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    SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma

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    SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m

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    SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t

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    SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can

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    SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin

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    SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t

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    SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th

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    SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo

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    SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi

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    SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,

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    SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh

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    SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc

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    SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu

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    SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget

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    SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people

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    SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig

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    SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc

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    SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth

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    LYING TELLS when they're given a pr

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    LYING TELLS in their ability to det

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    LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe

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    LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind

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    LYING TELLS There is, however, a su

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    LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i

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    LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th

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    LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people

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    LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th

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    LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft

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    LYING TELLS work involved in produc

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    11. Foreign Tells When people speak

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    FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole

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    FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri

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    FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio

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    FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are

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    FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth

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    FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I

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    FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o

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    FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,

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    FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha

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    FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre

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    SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about

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    SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably

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    SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol

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    SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i

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    SMOKING TELLS There are several rea

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    SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face

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    SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette

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    SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w

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    SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid

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    13. Tell-tales You're going to work

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    TELL-TALES present man behind in hi

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    TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv

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    TELL-TALES allowing them instead to

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    TELL-TALES chapters have shown that

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    Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th

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    NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.

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    NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po

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    NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit

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    NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig

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    NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F

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    NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be

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    NOTES female attractiveness and des

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    NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe

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    NOTES salespersons and customers be

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    NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc

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    NOTES effects of cigarette smoking

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69

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    THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t