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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS<br />

used to show that the speaker is prepared to relinquish<br />

the floor. Equally, the expression can take on a 'search<br />

function', helping the speaker to remember the next<br />

word or phrase. This is <strong>of</strong>ten what's happening when 'you<br />

know' is preceded by a pause.<br />

Posture <strong>Tells</strong><br />

<strong>The</strong> way people use their bodies <strong>of</strong>ten provides clues to<br />

their commitment to a conversation. When two people are<br />

talking to each other, they spend some <strong>of</strong> the time looking at<br />

each other and the rest looking elsewhere. People who<br />

spend a lot <strong>of</strong> time looking away give the impression that<br />

they are not interested in the other person. Knowing this to<br />

be the case, even when we find someone extremely boring<br />

we try not to look away too much, for fear that we will reveal<br />

our feelings. Instead, we watch the other person politely,<br />

creating the false impression that we find them interesting.<br />

<strong>The</strong> three main sources <strong>of</strong> information provided by the<br />

body are the eyes, the torso and the legs. People are<br />

generally aware <strong>of</strong> what they're doing with their eyes, so<br />

gaze doesn't always prove to be a very reliable source <strong>of</strong><br />

information about individuals' feelings towards each<br />

other. Because people are far less aware <strong>of</strong> where their<br />

torso is facing, it's <strong>of</strong>ten a much better indicator <strong>of</strong><br />

their feelings. However, when it comes to gauging someone's<br />

commitment to a conversation, the best place to<br />

look is at their legs and feet.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re are two reasons for this. One is that people are<br />

<strong>of</strong>ten quite unaware <strong>of</strong> these parts <strong>of</strong> the body. In fact, if<br />

we produced a scale <strong>of</strong> body awareness, we'd find that<br />

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