The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

THE BOOK OF TELLS
unexpected and unwelcome attention from others. The
individuals who are most prone to blushing are those who
are most concerned about how other people see them, and
who are most eager to behave properly and not do the
wrong thing. When individuals do make a social gaffe or
say something embarrassing, traitorous blushing often
exposes them. Paradoxically, they can usually rely on blushing
to get them off the hook, because blushing functions like
an apology, showing that they adhere to the norms of the
group. This can be seen in the responses that blushing
evokes in others - it has been found, for example, that
people who do something wrong and who then blush are
treated much more leniently than those who make the same
error but who don't blush. 19
Blushing is an integral part of embarrassment, and it's
often accompanied by other signs of embarrassment, like
speech disturbances and half-hearted smiles, as well as
looking down at the ground, touching the face or flicking
out the tongue. In this respect blushing operates like a
form of appeasement, showing other people our discomfort
and regret. However, unlike other forms of
appeasement, blushing is entirely outside our control - we
can't redden our face deliberately and we can't switch off
a blush once it's started. That's what makes it such a
painful experience for the person who's blushing, and
a significant tell for everyone else.
Tongue Tells
When children or adults are involved in a task they often
push their tongue out between their lips. The 'tongue
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