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The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS<br />

Hair <strong>Tells</strong><br />

One <strong>of</strong> the features that helps to create an impression <strong>of</strong><br />

youthful vigour in a politician is a full head <strong>of</strong> hair. A few<br />

years ago, Neil Kinnock, the former leader <strong>of</strong> the Labour<br />

Party, who has hardly any hair, wrote a teasing letter to<br />

William Hague, the then leader <strong>of</strong> the Conservative Party,<br />

to warn him that his lack <strong>of</strong> hair was likely to disqualify<br />

him from ever becoming Prime Minister. Several months<br />

later the Conservative Party was defeated at the polls and<br />

Hague was forced to resign, only to be replaced by lain<br />

Duncan Smith, a man with even less hair than Hague. If<br />

'Kinnock's Curse' works, the Conservatives are likely to<br />

remain the party <strong>of</strong> opposition until they elect a leader<br />

with a full head <strong>of</strong> hair.<br />

Because babies <strong>of</strong>ten don't have any hair on their head<br />

and people lose their hair as they get older, baldness can<br />

be a sign <strong>of</strong> extreme youth as well as age. In Hague's case<br />

the lack <strong>of</strong> hair, coupled with his baby-like features, made<br />

him look too young. It gave the impression that he was<br />

unprepared for a life in politics. All things being equal -<br />

which <strong>of</strong> course they never are in politics - it's an<br />

advantage for politicians to have a full head <strong>of</strong> hair and to<br />

look youthful and vigorous. Because they are associated<br />

with age and maturity, beards don't <strong>of</strong>fer politicians any<br />

special advantage, unless - as in the case <strong>of</strong> Fidel Castro -<br />

the beard is being used to support an image <strong>of</strong> the<br />

politician as a revolutionary. When the CIA was thinking<br />

<strong>of</strong> ways <strong>of</strong> removing Castro during the 1960s, they came<br />

up with the idea <strong>of</strong> developing a depilatory lotion which,<br />

when applied to Castro's chin, would completely remove<br />

his beard and expose the unknown face beneath.<br />

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