The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows and wrap his arms around her. She responds by placing her arms around him. A few seconds later she pats him on the back. The man immediately releases his hold and they both disengage. What the man doesn't realize is that he's unconsciously acting on instructions from the woman - by patting him on the back she's telling him that the hug is over. The woman is equally oblivious to what's happening - obviously, she knows that she's patting the man on the back, but she doesn't realize that she's using the pat as a 'termination signal'. In the context of the embrace, patting therefore serves as a stealth tell - it pretends to be something it's not. It may look like a gesture of affection, but its real purpose is to draw the hug to a close, and to do so without causing any offence. Kissing Tells Some societies have strict rules about how individuals should greet each other, based on their gender, age and social rank. There are also unwritten rules in our society, but these tend to be more fluid and ill defined. There are situations, for example, where it's not entirely clear whether we should kiss someone on the cheek or shake their hand, even though the choice that we make could have far-reaching consequences. During the presidential election Al Gore and George W. Bush appeared, separately, on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Gore had acquired a reputation as something of a kisser before he appeared on the show - he'd given his wife, Tipper, an enormous kiss at the Convention the previous month. 182
GREETING TELLS However, when Gore appeared on Oprah's show he politely shook her hand. Bush, in complete contrast, kissed Oprah on the cheek. The way that the two candidates greeted Oprah reinforced the public's perception of Gore as cold and stiff, and of George W. Bush as open and friendly. Little things, like the way someone greets other people, can often have an enormous impact on how they are seen. Broadly speaking, there are two types of kiss: • CHEEK KISSES. These tend to be social kisses and they are used for greetings and farewells. • MOUTH KISSES. They are usually part of sex and romance. However, there are cases where mouth kisses appear as part of the greeting ritual. The English are widely regarded as rather cold and undemonstrative. It therefore comes as something of a surprise to discover that there was a time when the English were the undisputed kissing champions of Europe. During the fifteenth century it was common practice for men and women to exchange kisses of friendship, even when they were strangers. 10 When the Dutch scholar, Desiderius Erasmus, visited England in 1499 the custom had reached epidemic proportions. He wrote a letter to a friend, telling him: 'Whenever you come you are received with a kiss by all; when you take your leave, you are dismissed with kisses; you return, kisses are repeated. They come to visit you, kisses again; they leave you, you kiss them all around. Should you meet anywhere, kisses in abundance, wherever you move, there is nothing but kisses.' 11 These 183
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
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THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
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THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
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2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
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THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
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THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
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THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
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THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
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THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
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THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
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THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
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THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
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THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
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THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
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THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
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THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
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THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
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4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
Page 132 and 133: THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
Page 134 and 135: THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
Page 136 and 137: THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
Page 138 and 139: THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
Page 140 and 141: THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
Page 142 and 143: THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
Page 144 and 145: THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
Page 146 and 147: THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
Page 148 and 149: THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
Page 150 and 151: THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
Page 152 and 153: THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
Page 154 and 155: THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
Page 156 and 157: THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
Page 158 and 159: THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
Page 160 and 161: THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
Page 162 and 163: THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
Page 164 and 165: THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
Page 166 and 167: THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
Page 168 and 169: THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
Page 170 and 171: THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
Page 172 and 173: THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
Page 174 and 175: THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
Page 176 and 177: THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
Page 178 and 179: THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
Page 180 and 181: THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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Page 186 and 187: THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
Page 188 and 189: THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
Page 190 and 191: THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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Page 194 and 195: THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
Page 196 and 197: 7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
Page 198 and 199: THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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Page 202 and 203: THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
Page 204 and 205: THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
Page 206 and 207: THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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Page 214 and 215: THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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Page 218 and 219: THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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Page 222 and 223: THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
Page 224 and 225: THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
Page 226 and 227: THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
Page 228 and 229: THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
Page 230 and 231: THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
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ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
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ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
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ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
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ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
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ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
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SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
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SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
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SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
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SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
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SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
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SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
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SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
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SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
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SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
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SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
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SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
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SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
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SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
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SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
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SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
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SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
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LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
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LYING TELLS in their ability to det
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LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
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LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
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LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
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LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
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LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
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LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
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LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
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LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
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LYING TELLS work involved in produc
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11. Foreign Tells When people speak
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FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
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FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
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FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
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FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
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FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
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FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
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FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
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FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
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FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
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FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
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SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
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SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
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SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
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SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
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SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
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SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
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SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
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SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
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SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
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13. Tell-tales You're going to work
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TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
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TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
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TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
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TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
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Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
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NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
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NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
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NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
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NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
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NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
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NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
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NOTES female attractiveness and des
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NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
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NOTES salespersons and customers be
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NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
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NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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