06.03.2018 Views

The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

Create successful ePaper yourself

Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.

THE BOOK OF TELLS<br />

substitution tells- they're comforting and reassuring things<br />

that we do to ourselves when there isn't anybody else<br />

around to do them to us.<br />

<strong>The</strong> potency <strong>of</strong> auto-contact actions lies in the fact that<br />

physical touch is the best way to comfort someone. It's the<br />

most primitive and it's also the most effective. <strong>The</strong> importance<br />

<strong>of</strong> touch is reflected in the composition <strong>of</strong> our<br />

skin, which has millions <strong>of</strong> receptor cells that are sensitive<br />

to the slightest change in pressure, and in the structure <strong>of</strong><br />

our brain, where it's been discovered that the area in the<br />

prefrontal cortex that's devoted to touch is much larger<br />

than the areas devoted to any <strong>of</strong> the other senses. Touch<br />

forms the basis <strong>of</strong> the initial contact between mother and<br />

child; it's touch that comforts the baby and makes it feel<br />

secure. That's why touch is so reassuring throughout our<br />

lives - it recreates those feelings <strong>of</strong> love and security that<br />

we once experienced as a baby. <strong>The</strong> sad part <strong>of</strong> this is<br />

that if you watch people who feel dejected, lonely or<br />

vulnerable - people lining up for benefits, people waiting<br />

in accident and emergency, people appearing in court -<br />

they frequently touch themselves in a way that is reminiscent<br />

<strong>of</strong> how their mother comforted them. <strong>The</strong> same<br />

applies to people who are being submissive.<br />

When people are feeling submissive they frequently<br />

stroke their hair, especially the hair at the back <strong>of</strong> their<br />

head. <strong>The</strong>se actions can be traced back to the time when<br />

their mothers caressed their hair to comfort them, and<br />

when they supported them by cradling the back <strong>of</strong> their<br />

head. When people feel submissive they also touch<br />

their face, frequently placing their fingers on their lips.<br />

<strong>The</strong>se self-comforting gestures also owe their origins to the<br />

way that mothers caress their baby's face, play with its<br />

78

Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!