The life and work of St. Paul

44 THE LIFE AND WORK OF ST. PAUL.
hard afterwards looked back as events the most momentous in the entire
course of human history, is there any one who can for a moment imagine that
no personal reminiscence of such scenes would be visible, even ever so faintly,
through the transparent medium of his writings ?
We may, then, regard it as certain that when the gloom fell at mid-day
over the awful sacrifice of Golgotha, when the people shouted their preference
for the murderous brigand, and yelled their execration of the Saviour whoso
day all the noblest and holiest of their fathers had longed to see, Saul was not
at Jerusalem. Where, then, was he ? It is impossible to answer the question
with any certainty. He may have been at Tarsus, which, even after his
conversion, he regarded as his home. 1 Or perhaps the explanation of his
absence may be seen in Gal. v. 11. He there represents himself as having
once been a preacher of circumcision. Now we know that one of the characteristics
of the
"
then Pharisaism was an active zeal in winning proselytes. Ye
compass sea and "
land," said Christ to them, in burning words, to make one
make him twofold more the child of
proselyte ; and when he is made, ye
Gehenna than 2
yourselves." The conversion which changed Paul's deepest
earlier convictions left unchanged the natural impulse of his temperament.
Why may not the same impetuous zeal, the same restless desire to be always
preaching some truth and doing some good work which marked him out as the
Apostle of the Gentiles, 3 have worked in him also in these earlier days, and
made him, as he seems to imply, a missionary of Pharisaism P If so, he may
have been absent on some journey enjoined upon him by the party whose
servant, heart and soul, he was, during the brief visits to Jerusalem which
marked the three years' ministry of Christ on earth.
2. The other question which arises is, Was Saul married ? Had he the
support of some loving heart during the fiery struggles of his youth P Amid
the to-and-fro contentions of spirit which resulted from an imperfect and
unsatisfying creed, was there in the troubled sea of his life one little island
home -where he could find refuge from incessant thoughts ?
Little as we know of his domestic relations, little as he cared to mingle
more private interests with the great spiritual truths which occupy his soul, it
seems to me that we must answer this question in the affirmative. St. Paul,
who has been very freely charged with egotism, had not one particle of that
egotism which consists in attaching any importance to his personal surroundings.
The circumstances of his individual life he would have looked on as
having no interest for any one but himself. When he speaks of himself he
does so always from one of two reasons from the necessity of maintaining
against detraction his apostolic authority, or from the desire to utilise for
others his remarkable experience. The things that happened to him, the
blessings and privations of his earthly condition, would have seemed matters
of supremo indifference, except in so far as they possessed a moral significance,
or had any bearing on the lessons which he desired to teach.
Acts ix. 30, xi 25 ; Gal. i. 21. * Matt. xxffl. 15.
GaL i. 16. (See Krenkel, p. 18.)