Peacebuilding &conflict transformation A ... - Peaceworkafrica

A kind of misery about one’s own life, achievements, importance, etc. may emerge.This shows the power of comparative thinking and how it can block empathy foroneself and for others.Denial of responsibilityThe use of expressions such as ‘you make me feel …’ ‘one has to, whether you like itor not’ or ‘… makes one feel …’ are examples of another form of life‐alienating communication.They express the denial of our own thinking, feeling and actions, thedenial of responsibility for our own choices in life. We deny our individual responsibilityfor our action when we attribute the cause for the action to the issues listedbelow:▶ Vague, impersonal forces I did … because it was necessaryEvery day I have to work in the farm, although I totally dislike it and wouldlove to do an office job.We killed them because they were our enemies.▶ Actions of othersI beat you because you did not clean the house.I stop talking to you because you told lies about me.I injured her because her brother stabbed my wife.▶ Group pressureI started drinking beer because everyone else was doing it.I set fire to the building otherwise they would not have accepted meas leader of the action group.I did not participate during classes as that would have made me alonefor the rest of the school year.▶ Institutional policies and regulations/dictate from authorityI did not inform the customer about his rights(because it is company policy).I have to execute physical punishment to students who misbehave(… otherwise I would lose my job).I hate to give grades as I realize the anxiety and fear in the students,(but I have to follow government policy).I do not like to wear a uniform, (but I have to because this isthe company’s regulation).5 . N o n v i o l e n t c o m m u n i c a t i o n 207