Peacebuilding &conflict transformation A ... - Peaceworkafrica

This involves the four areas of nonviolent communication:Observation What is the description of the situation I refer to?Feelings How do/did I feel in this situation?Needs What are/were my needs (met or unmet) to create these feelings?Request What can I do to satisfy my unmet needs?What can I do to keep the positive feelings,to maintain the relationship?HONESTYExpressing anger in a nonviolent wayHonesty is the second way one can use nonviolent communication. It expresseswhat I experienced or what happened in me and what I request from the other tochange the situation. This option to use nonviolent communication is often describedas ‘expressing anger in a nonviolent way’, although this model can be used to expressappreciation as well.It involves communicating to the other person what I see, feel, need & requestto satisfy my needs, precisely the four areas of nonviolent communication:Observation What is the ‘neutral’ description of the situation I refer to?What did I observe you were doing, saying, acting?Feeling How do/did I feel in this situation?Needs What are/were my needs to create these feelings?Request What do I request from the other person to satisfy my needs?The nonviolent expression of anger clearly demonstrates the difference betweennonviolent communication and other forms of communication. If a person is trulyangry, s/he generally uses a powerful way to fully express this strong feeling. Oneshould take into consideration that blaming, hurting, hitting or killing are all expressionsof what is going on in someone who is angry!Expressing anger non-violently means transmitting a message by using wordsand non‐verbal expressions that express the core of one’s anger fully and wholeheart-5 . N o n v i o l e n t c o m m u n i c a t i o n 225