Peacebuilding &conflict transformation A ... - Peaceworkafrica

and at the same time you say that you want to sell your land and hope tomove out as soon as possible.”▶ “You talked about the pains you’ve had since the accident with your newcar, while you told me last week that you never owned a vehicle”.Leading questionsThis type of question helps to move in a particular direction. It is an honest manipulationto bring the discussion back on track or to move away from a problem,towards a solution.▶ “Wouldn’t it be good to have another think about how to solvethis special issue now?”▶ “Is the way you reacted right now similar to what you describedwhen you are in a stressful situation?”▶ “Could we try to discuss…?”Leading can also mean to confront & challenge the speaker with discrepancies whilereporting.10.3 Don’ts of listeningAlthough some people are natural communicators, it generally takes a lot of practiceto be an effective active listener who knows how to respond to difficult situationsand to cultural differences. Some things one should keep in mind NOT TO DO aslistener are:▶ rush the speaker▶ argue about whether what is said is correct, true…▶ interrupt the speaker▶ pass judgment▶ give advice unless requested▶ jump to the conclusion because nothing new is said or the topicis too complex▶ let the speaker’s emotions affect you (the listener) too much▶ sympathize, but do show empathy▶ identify or compare your own experiences with what the speakerexpresses▶ ignore what the speaker is offering▶ be dishonest – pretend to have understood when you have not▶ lose the interaction, be bored, be occupied with your own thoughts…▶ be sarcastic84 I I . C O M M U N I C AT I O N