Peacebuilding &conflict transformation A ... - Peaceworkafrica

▶ Be honest with yourself to prevent frustration and resignation.Identify and be aware of your needs, feelings, wants and the effectof the behaviour of others on yourself.▶ Keep to the subject and stick to the problem for which you want to finda solution. Do not allow your opponent to jump from one subject toanother.▶ Support others in their attempt to express themselves clearly andunambiguously, without analyzing and devaluing anyone.▶ Do not accuse or try to hurt the opponent. Mutual accusations do notserve to clear up or solve a problem, but intensify the deadlock 8 .Third parties: a third party’s aim is to guide the conflicting parties in solving theirconflicts to the satisfaction of all. In so doing, they act as a catalyst. They ensurethat the rules are upheld and try to contribute positively to transforming theconflict without taking sides.Environment: having the dialogue in neutral surroundings (change the frame) helpsto ensure that no party has a ‘home advantage’.13. De-escalationConstructive and creative conflict transformation includes consciously using communicationskills which are helpful for de‐escalation, which make room for a constructiveprocess and are focused on finding a common solution 9 . The list belowdeals with practical behaviours, attitudes and communication skills for individuals,useful to calming down heated discussions in conflicts and identifying blockages incommunication. At the same time, the list includes aspects which can easily makeconflict situations escalate — these issues should be avoided!Helpful – de-escalating effectConsciously saying hello and goodbyeMaintain eye/visual contactAn attentive, open body postureKeep to the agreed rulesLess helpful – escalating effectNot saying hello, not saying goodbyeLack of eye contact, no visual contactAn inattentive, closed or turned awaybody postureIgnore rules88 I I . C O M M U N I C AT I O N