Peacebuilding &conflict transformation A ... - Peaceworkafrica

EARSWe have two ears andone mouth. We shouldspend twice as much timelistening as talking.EYESWe have two eyes andshould ‘see’ what we hearby paying attention tofacial expressions andother non-verbal signs.KINGWe should treatthe speaker royally, withrespect and honor.HEARTWe should listen foremotions and ‘feel’ whatthe person is saying.UNDIVIDEDATTENTIONWe should give theperson our full attention,putting aside all otherdistractions.10.1 Skills for listening & questioningListening is the most important skill for anyone seeking effective dialogue in a conflictsituation, leading a group or functioning as a third party. A brief summary:▶ Listening to the content of the message by making an effort to hearprecisely what is offered.▶ Listening to the feelings of the speaker by perceiving the speaker’sfeelings through the way the message is delivered.▶ Responding to the feelings of the speaker by demonstrating thatthe feelings expressed are recognized and understood.▶ Paying attention to the speaker’s cues, both verbal and non‐verbal.▶ Identifying mixed and/or contradicting messages the speaker maybe expressing.▶ Reflecting back what was heard by restating and/or summarizingwhat was understood.▶ Allowing the speaker to respond and/or give feedback for furtherclarification.76 I I . C O M M U N I C AT I O N