Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

Taking Charge
I lost my mind. Faces roared in the paint. Their teeth
gnarled and ground sounding like bones going to dust. Voices
whispered plans and painted images. Gore covered everything. Ash
and fire ruined my lungs. Black lines rose from the floor, edged
with threats and promises.
Mildew stains ran dark in the corners. Mold swayed in the
toilet. The razor pulled blood through white fat. It dripped from my
fingertips and ran in streaks and rivulets into the drain. I turned on
the water and watched it go from red to pink.
Suddenly I was lightheaded. I breathed through my nose. I
wasn’t done yet. I wanted to cut through muscle to the veins; I
wanted to see bone. But I couldn’t do it. The pain was starting now
and little spots sprouted in my eyes. I let the razor bounce in the
sink. I was finished. I started to lie down in the bathtub when the
door opened. Tayla stood there, staring. Her mouth worked but
nothing came out. After a second, she hit me and started cussing.
“What the hell?” she said.
“Jesus Christ,” she said.
I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what else to do. All the
noise, all the spinning and all the fear drained away for a moment.
All the colors went white, then black. I floated.
“Fuck,” Tayla said. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
Gid reached into my head but found nothing to hold onto.
His finger slipped and scrambled.
“Why?” he asked.
“I made you,” I said.
“No.”
“You made me,” I said.
A shrill scream. Gid or Tayla. It didn’t matter. I was done.