Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

Far From Perfect
Antiseptic walls rose from a tile floor. White cabinets hung
pure and bland. Acoustic panels sucked the noise from the room. In
the corner, the ultrasound machine waited for me. I lay on the exam
table counting my breaths. Tayla held my hand.
No voice. No faces. No Gid.
The tech did her thing. My hands shook. I nearly puked.
“It’s not going to hurt,” she said.
Her hands were warm and strong when they lifted my shirt.
It was hard to tell if my belly was bigger, rounder than yesterday or
last week. I closed my eyes and waited.
“I’m right here,” Tayla said.
“That’s the heartbeat,” she said.
A rapid flutter on the screen echoed the high pitched
thunder from the speakers.
“Jesus,” Tayla said.
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see the heartbeat. I didn’t
want to hear it. This wasn’t possible.
“A miracle,” the tech said, smiling like she knew things.
“You don’t know,” Tayla said, a little edgy.
The tech frowned for a moment but said nothing.
“There’s a hand,” she said.
I turned away.
“Are you okay?” the tech asked.
Tears soaked into the paper under my shoulders.
“She’s just emotional,” Tayla said.
Doubt shaded the tech’s face.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
Tayla’s voice got all protective.
“This isn’t easy,” she said.
The tech said nothing for a while.
“It’s okay,” Tayla said.
“It’s real,” I said.