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Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

“I don’t know,” I

“I don’t know,” I said. “I have a plan,” Miss Tris said. “Make those fuckers see us for real.” We’d need a stack of gay porn, several tubes of superglue and a bunch of dildoes. Her plan was a little out there, but it would definitely get us some attention.

Always and Forever I dreamed of light and faceless faces. I dreamed of Gid’s hands and the feel of his lips. I knew the ridges of his thighs and the swirls in his fingertips. His tongue tasted of mint and rain. Scenes flipped from one to the other without warning. First, I was on a bus, trying to shave my head. I didn’t know why I wanted to shave my head. I couldn’t stop. I took a spoon and scraped it over my scalp over and over, but the hair wouldn’t cut. It pulled at the roots, but nothing came off. Gid sat with me, and stared, but I couldn’t speak. Something told me he was smiling, like this was funny to him. Anger flooded through me. I bunched my fist, but then my body locked up and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I choked and gagged and shivered. Gid ran his fingertip along my jaw. “This is love,” he said. “You cannot get away.” The world tilted and spun, and I stood on a corner down by the water front. Rain fluttered in from the mountains. Men and women ran by me. I was invisible. Out on the river, tugs and ferries steamed through the red and silver waves. Water rose over the seawall and swirled around my ankles. I sank into the muddy bank. Trees reached out for me, but their fingers were too brittle, too weak. I was dying. “You can live forever,” Gid said. He stood on the water, not reaching for me, not doing anything to save me. I tried to climb his leg, but he was smoke and rain. I slipped below the waves. Green light filtered in. I couldn’t breathe. I kicked and fought, and my lungs quivered. Everything exploded.