Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

Freak Out
I went to bed at three, I got up at six. I went back to bed at
eleven. I was up at two. I rested on the couch but couldn’t relax.
Minutes and hours passed. I finished one cigarette and started
another.
Four days vanished with no sleep and I saw things. Dark
men followed me. I couldn’t eat. The food was poisoned. There
were people in the world trying to kill me. They thought my dances
were code to the CIA. They thought I was a spy. But I wasn’t. I
wasn’t a spy. I was just a fat girl, a dancer, a student. Faces came
at me out of the light, feral and famished. Gid circled like a bat in a
wounded sky.
“Stay away,” I said.
“Butter.”
Tayla stood in the doorway, too far off to help. Her voice
was an echo in the corners.
Clothes scraped at me so I got naked. Cold air scrubbed the
sweat from my skin and hair, leaving the salt, a thin, grainy layer.
“I love you,” Gid said.
“Fuck you,” I said. “Go away.”
Tayla came with heavy hands and a tear-scarred face.
“Who’re you talking to?” Tayla asked.
Words failed me. I flung around. She spun with me,
looking, trying to see. She couldn´t.
“She’s blind,” Gid said. “She doesn’t see what you see.”
“I will kill you!”
I lunged. Gid was there and not there. Glass broke.
“Jesus!”
Tayla grabbed me and pulled me to the floor. Blood
flowed. Tendons rolled and pulled. White flesh and red muscle
bunched. I kicked and slammed my head on the floor. Glass planted
itself in my back.
“Stop,” Tayla begged. “Please stop.”