Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

“You know better.”
Suddenly, I was angry. I burned and twitched and all I
wanted was to scream but I didn’t scream. People were sleeping
and this was between Gid and me. This was a private battle.
“You’ve ruined everything,” I said.
“You’ll rebuild,” he said.
No matter what I did, he wouldn’t leave. There was no
escape. If I lived, he lived. If I breathed, he breathed. Suicide
suddenly became much more reasonable. I mean, Tayla had kept
me alive this long and now I wasn’t sure she’d even be there in the
morning. I stayed up all night just to keep her from sneaking away
without telling me. Now she was gone. Not gone, gone but gone as
in silent and distant. Being around her was like cutting myself
open with a glass knife.
Gid came close. He was going to kiss me. I couldn’t stand
the thought of that, so I reached for his face. He spun away. I
reached again.
“Don’t,” he said.
His voice was thinner than usual, sharp enough to cut the
air between us.
“I need to know,” I said.
He stepped back. He raised his hands.
“You cannot know this,” he said.
“It’s going to happen,” I said. “Someday. Soon.”
“No.”
He faded. Not even his voice lingered. It was little thing.
Little but enough to spark a little light, a little hope.