Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

BECOMING AMERICA
REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE
perhaps, in addition his boots hurt, his cravat-bow persists in slipping under his
ear for want of a pin, and a wife to pin it, (poor wretch!) or he has been refused
by some pretty girl, as he deserved to be, (narrow-minded old vinegar-cruet!) or
snubbed by some lady authoress; or, more trying than all to the male constitution,
has had a weak cup of coee for that morning ‘s breakfast.
But seriously—we have had quite enough of this shallow criticism (?) on ladybooks.
Whether the book which called forth the remark above quoted, was a good
book or a bad one, I know not: I should be inclined to think the former from the
dispraise of such a pen. Whether ladies can write novels or not, is a question I do
not intend to discuss; but that some of them have no diculty in nding either
publishers or readers, is a matter of history; and that gentlemen often write over
feminine signatures would seem also to argue that feminine literature is, after all,
in good odor with the reading public. Granting that lady-novels are not all that
they should be—is such shallow, unfair, wholesome, sneering criticism (?) the way
to reform them? Would it not be better and more manly to point out a better way
kindly, justly, and, above all, respectfully? or—what would be a much harder task
for such critics—write a better book!
FANNY FERN.
4.19.2 “Hints to Young Wives”
(1852)
Shouldn ‘t I like to make a bon-re of all the “Hints to Young Wives, “ “Married
Women ‘s Friend, “ etc., and throw in the authors after them? I have a little neighbor
who believes all they tell her is gospel truth, and lives up to it. The minute she sees
her husband coming up the street, she makes for the door, as if she hadn ‘t another
minute to live, stands in the entry with her teeth chattering in her head till he gets
all his coats and muers, and overshoes, and what-do-you-call—‘ems o, then
chases round (like a cat in a t) after the boot-jack; warms his slippers and puts
‘em on, and dislocates her wrist carving at the table for fear it will tire him.
Poor little innocent fool! she imagines that ‘s the way to preserve his aection.
Preserve a ddlestick! the consequence is, he ‘s sick of the sight of her; snubs
her when she asks him a question, and after he has eaten her good dinners takes
himself o as soon as possible, bearing in mind the old proverb “that too much
of a good thing is good for nothing. “ Now the truth is just this, and I wish all the
women on earth had but one ear in common, so that I could put this little bit of
gospel into it: ——Just so long as a man isn ‘t quite as sure as if he knew for certain,
whether nothing on earth could ever disturb your aection for him, he is your
humble servant, but the very second he nds out (or thinks he does) that he has
possession of every inch of your heart, and no neutral territory ——he will turn on
his heel and march o whistling “Yankee Doodle! “
Now it ‘s no use to take your pocket handkerchief and go snivelling round the
house with a pink nose and red eyes; not a bit of it! If you have made the interesting
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