Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

BECOMING AMERICA
REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE
lover until she is sure of another. Letitia little thinks what a clue I have to Dimple’s
conduct. The generous man submits to render himself disgusting to Maria, in order
that she may leave him at liberty to address me. I must change the subject. [Aside,
and rings a bell.
Enter SERVANT.
Frank, order the horses to.—Talking of marriage, did you hear that Sally Bloomsbury
is going to be married next week to Mr. Indigo, the rich Carolinian?
LETITIA
Sally Bloomsbury married!—why, she is not yet in her teens.
CHARLOTTE
I do not know how that is, but you may depend upon it, ‘tis a done aair. I have it
from the best authority. There is my aunt Wyerly’s Hannah. You know Hannah;
though a black, she is a wench that was never caught in a lie in her life. Now,
Hannah has a brother who courts Sarah, Mrs. Catgut the milliner’s girl, and she
told Hannah’s brother, and Hannah, who, as I said before, is a girl of undoubted
veracity, told it directly to me, that Mrs. Catgut was making a new cap for Miss
Bloomsbury, which, as it was very dressy, it is very probable is designed for a
wedding cap. Now, as she is to be married, who can it be to but to Mr. Indigo? Why,
there is no other gentleman that visits at her papa’s.
LETITIA
Say not a word more, Charlotte. Your intelligence is so direct and well grounded, it
is almost a pity that it is not a piece of scandal.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! I am the pink of prudence. Though I cannot charge myself with ever having
discredited a tea-party by my silence, yet I take care never to report any thing of
my acquaintance, especially if it is to their credit,—discredit, I mean,—until I have
searched to the bottom of it. It is true, there is innite pleasure in this charitable
pursuit. Oh! how delicious to go and condole with the friends of some backsliding
sister, or to retire with some old dowager or maiden aunt of the family, who love
scandal so well that they cannot forbear gratifying their appetite at the expense of
the reputation of their nearest relations! And then to return full fraught with a rich
collection of circumstances, to retail to the next circle of our acquaintance under
the strongest injunctions of secrecy,—ha, ha, ha!—interlarding the melancholy
tale with so many doleful shakes of the head, and more doleful “Ah! who would
have thought it! so amiable, so prudent a young lady, as we all thought her, what
a monstrous pity! well, I have nothing to charge myself with; I acted the part of
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