Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

BECOMING AMERICA
REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE
commented on it in his usual manner. How did I mean to subsist, he asked, in
my own country? The means of living would be, at least, as much within my reach
there as here. As to the pressure of immediate and absolute want, he believed I
should be exposed to little hazard. With talents such as mine, I must be hunted
by a destiny peculiarly malignant, if I could not provide myself with necessaries
wherever my lot were cast.
He would make allowances, however, for my didence and self-distrust, and
would obviate my fears by expressing his own intentions with regard to me. I
must be apprized, however, of his true meaning. He laboured to shun all hurtful
and vitious things, and therefore carefully abstained from making or conding in
promises. It was just to assist me in this voyage, and it would probably be equally
just to continue to me similar assistance when it was nished. That indeed was a
subject, in a great degree, within my own cognizance. His aid would be proportioned
to my wants and to my merits, and I had only to take care that my claims were just,
for them to be admitted.
This scheme could not but appear to me eligible. I thirsted after an acquaintance
with new scenes; my present situation could not be changed for a worse; I trusted
to the constancy of Ludloe’s friendship; to this at least it was better to trust than to
the success of my imposture on Dorothy, which was adopted merely as a desperate
expedient: nally I determined to embark with him.
In the course of this voyage my mind was busily employed. There were no other
passengers beside ourselves, so that my own condition and the character of Ludloe,
continually presented themselves to my reections. It will be supposed that I was
not a vague or indierent observer.
There were no vicissitudes in the deportment or lapses in the discourse of my
friend. His feelings appeared to preserve an unchangeable tenor, and his thoughts
and words always to ow with the same rapidity. His slumber was profound and
his wakeful hours serene. He was regular and temperate in all his exercises and
gratications. Hence were derived his clear perceptions and exuberant health.
This treatment of me, like all his other mental and corporal operations, was
modelled by one inexible standard. Certain scruples and delicacies were incident
to my situation. Of the existence of these he seemed to be unconscious, and yet
nothing escaped him inconsistent with a state of absolute equality.
I was naturally inquisitive as to his fortune and the collateral circumstances of
his condition. My notions of politeness hindered me from making direct inquiries.
By indirect means I could gather nothing but that his state was opulent and
independent, and that he had two sisters whose situation resembled his own.
Though, in conversation, he appeared to be governed by the utmost candour;
no light was let in upon the former transactions of his life. The purpose of his visit
to America I could merely guess to be the gratication of curiosity.
My future pursuits must be supposed chiey to occupy my attention. On this
head I was destitute of all stedfast views. Without profession or habits of industry
or sources of permanent revenue, the world appeared to me an ocean on which
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