Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

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BECOMING AMERICA REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE LETITIA It is whispered that if Maria gives her hand to Mr. Dimple, it will be without her heart. CHARLOTTE Though the giving the heart is one of the last of all laughable considerations in the marriage of a girl of spirit, yet I should like to hear what antiquated notions the dear little piece of old-fashioned prudery has got in her head. LETITIA Why, you know that old Mr. John-Richard-Robert-Jacob-Isaac-Abraham- Cornelius Van Dumpling, Billy Dimple’s father (for he has thought t to soften his name, as well as manners, during his English tour), was the most intimate friend of Maria’s father. The old folks, about a year before Mr. Van Dumpling’s death, proposed this match: the young folks were accordingly introduced, and told they must love one another. Billy was then a good-natured, decent-dressing young fellow, with a little dash of the coxcomb, such as our young fellows of fortune usually have. At this time, I really believe she thought she loved him; and had they been married, I doubt not they might have jogged on, to the end of the chapter, a good kind of a sing-song lack-a-daysaical life, as other honest married folks do. Why did they not then marry? CHARLOTTE LETITIA Upon the death of his father, Billy went to England to see the world and rub o a little of the patroon rust. During his absence, Maria, like a good girl, to keep herself constant to her nown true-love, avoided company, and betook herself, for her amusement, to her books, and her dear Billy’s letters. But, alas! how many ways has the mischievous demon of inconstancy of stealing into a woman’s heart! Her love was destroyed by the very means she took to support it. CHARLOTTE How?—Oh! I have it—some likely young beau found the way to her study. LETITIA Be patient, Charlotte; your head so runs upon beaux. Why, she read Sir Charles Grandison, Clarissa Harlow, Shenstone, and the Sentimental Journey; and between whiles, as I said, Billy’s letters. But, as her taste improved, her love declined. The contrast was so striking betwixt the good sense of her books and the imsiness of her love-letters, that she discovered she had unthinkingly engaged her hand without her heart; and then the whole transaction, managed by the old folks, now appeared so unsentimental, and looked so like bargaining for a bale of goods, that Page | 584
BECOMING AMERICA REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE she found she ought to have rejected, according to every rule of romance, even the man of her choice, if imposed upon her in that manner. Clary Harlow would have scorned such a match. CHARLOTTE Well, how was it on Mr. Dimple’s return? Did he meet a more favourable reception than his letters? LETITIA Much the same. She spoke of him with respect abroad, and with contempt in her closet. She watched his conduct and conversation, and found that he had by travelling, acquired the wickedness of Lovelace without his wit, and the politeness of Sir Charles Grandison without his generosity. The ruddy youth, who washed his face at the cistern every morning, and swore and looked eternal love and constancy, was now metamorphosed into a ippant, palid, polite beau, who devotes the morning to his toilet, reads a few pages of Chestereld’s letters, and then minces out, to put the infamous principles in practice upon every woman he meets. CHARLOTTE But, if she is so apt at conjuring up these sentimental bugbears, why does she not discard him at once? LETITIA Why, she thinks her word too sacred to be tried with. Besides, her father, who has a great respect for the memory of his deceased friend, is ever telling her how he shall renew his years in their union, and repeating the dying injunctions of old Van Dumpling. CHARLOTTE A mighty pretty story! And so you would make me believe that the sensible Maria would give up Dumpling manor, and the all-accomplished Dimple as a husband, for the absurd, ridiculous reason, forsooth, because she despises and abhors him. Just as if a lady could not be privileged to spend a man’s fortune, ride in his carriage, be called after his name, and call him her nown dear lovee when she wants money, without loving and respecting the great he-creature. Oh! my dear girl, you are a monstrous prude. LETITIA I don’t say what I would do; I only intimate how I suppose she wishes to act. CHARLOTTE No, no, no! A g for sentiment. If she breaks, or wishes to break, with Mr. Dimple, depend upon it, she has some other man in her eye. A woman rarely discards one Page | 585
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B E C O M I N G AMERICA An Explorat
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TABLE OF C ONTENTS PART ONE: PRE- A
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1Pre- and Early Colonial Literature
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Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

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