Becoming America - An Exploration of American Literature from Precolonial to Post-Revolution, 2018a

BECOMING AMERICA
REVOLUTIONARY AND EARLY NATIONAL PERIOD LITERATURE
ACT III. SCENE I.
DIMPLE’S Room.
DIMPLE discovered at a Toilet, Reading
“Women have in general but one object, which is their beauty.” Very true, my
lord; positively very true. “Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to
be insensible to attery upon her person.” Extremely just, my lord; every day’s
delightful experience conrms this. “If her face is so shocking that she must, in
some degree, be conscious of it, her gure and air, she thinks, make ample amends
for it.” The sallow Miss Wan is a proof of this. Upon my telling the distasteful wretch,
the other day, that her countenance spoke the pensive language of sentiment, and
that Lady Wortley Montague declared that if the ladies were arrayed in the garb of
innocence, the face would be the last part which would be admired, as Monsieur
Milton expresses it; she grinn’d horribly, a ghastly smile. “If her gure is deformed,
she thinks her face counterbalances it.”
Enter JESSAMY with letters.
Where got you these, Jessamy?
Sir, the English packet is arrived.
DIMPLE
JESSAMY
“Sir,
DIMPLE opens and reads a letter enclosing notes
“I have drawn bills on you in favour of Messrs. Van Cash and Co. as per margin.
I have taken up your note to Col. Piquet, and discharged your debts to my Lord
Lurcher and Sir Harry Rook. I herewith enclose you copies of the bills, which I
have no doubt will be immediately honoured. On failure, I shall empower some
lawyer in your country to recover the amounts.
“I am, Sir,
“Your most humble servant,
“JOHN HAZARD.”
Now, did not my lord expressly say that it was unbecoming a well-bred man to
be in a passion, I confess I should be rued. [Reads.] “There is no accident so
unfortunate, which a wise man may not turn to his advantage; nor any accident
so fortunate, which a fool will not turn to his disadvantage.” True, my lord; but
how advantage can be derived from this I can’t see. Chestereld himself, who
made, however, the worst practice of the most excellent precepts, was never in
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