INSIDE THE GURU'S GATE - Anpere

When a Sikh couple and good friends of mine celebrated their ring ceremony in Varanasi,
for instance, the bride and groom were seated on chairs in the dining hall of a
rented restaurant, surrounded by male and female relatives on both sides. The head
granthi of Gurubagh Gurdwara was invited to read an Ardas with all participants
forming a circle. After the bride had been decorated with a golden shawl by her
mother-in-law the couple simply exchanged golden rings like a Christian wedding
and were then offered sweets to each other and the closest family members. The party
continued far into the night with bhangra music and folk dances.
The ritual which resembles the traditional betrothal ceremony and seems to
have more or less replaced it today is known as shagan. Three days prior to the wedding
the groom’s family will set up an unbroken reading of Guru Granth Sahib, either
in the gurdwara or at the house. When the recitation comes to an end on the day
before the wedding a group of delegates from the bride’s side will visit the groom
and his family with signs of the betrothal in the form of gifts to the groom. Before
starting the ceremony everyone joins the Sikh prayer, and if Guru Granth Sahib is
installed at the house, the granthi may be invited to take a Hukam for the auspicious
occasion. Afterwards the groom will be seated on a platform holding a red cloth in
his lap on which various gifts will be placed. The bride’s father first places a tikka, a
vermillion mark, on the groom’s forehead as a blessing and then puts a bracelet on
his right hand. He then feeds the groom with sweets. Other male relatives similarly
mark his forehead and place various gifts, including envelopes containing money, in
the groom’s lap. All put sweets in the mouth of the groom and he will also be given a
decorated basket filled with dry fruits and sweets. From this basket he should pick a
piece of dried fruit, bite off one half and return the remaining half to the bride.
Shagan is also the occasion when the bride’s family presents the groom and his
family with other gifts according to their financial status. In one ceremony I participated
in, the male relatives of the bride handed over a television, household articles,
ornaments, and suitcases with suits to the groom. Shagan provides an opportunity to
invite relatives and friends for celebration and the ceremony often includes the singing
of wedding songs and folk dancing. The public acceptance of the groom, the
feasting, and the exchange of gifts are the essential confirmation of the new alliance
between two families. The only one who does not participate in the celebrations is
the bride, her mother, bridesmaid, and other female relatives. In the evening of shagan
some female relatives from the groom’s house will visit the bride in her residence to
hand over a set of counter gifts, including henna, a make-up kit, jewelry, and the
dress (doli) which she will wear when escorted to the house of her in-laws after marriage.
PREPARATIONS
The weeks before a Sikh wedding are busy. Ornamental invitations cards are printed
and distributed to relatives far and near; new clothes, jewelry and other gifts are
purchased for the couple and other family members, and catering services and wedding
palaces for the various receptions are booked.
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Published on www.anpere.net in May 2008