Forbidden Words: Taboo and the Censoring of Language

140 Forbidden Words
(Geordie and Cumbrian) marra, southern British old boy (possibly archaic),
and brother or sister in various American, Australian and British sociolects.
These forms of address are also used in intimate style, and where we also find
such terms as auntie, babe, baby, daddy, darling, dear, duckie, ducks, fella(s),
gorgeous, grandad, guys, handsome, honey, hunk, love (luv), lover, mac,
momma, sexy, sis, sugar, sweetheart, and a whole lot more.
In many English-speaking families, it remains dysphemistic to address or
name consanguineal kin of an ascending generation by their given names.
Instead, speakers use kin titles such as Dad, Nan, Grandpa, etc. for lineal kin;
and for lateral kin, a kin title like Auntie, orkin title _ given name, e.g. Aunt
Jemima. If lineal kin of the second and higher ascending generations need to
be distinguished from a collateral with the same title, kin title _ surname is the
usual form used, e.g. Grandma Robinson versus Grandma Carter. The social
taboo against omitting the kin title is weakest with kin from the first
ascending generation who are about the same age as the speaker, particularly
collateral kin and step-kin; it is strongest with kin of the second and higher
ascending generations. These are, of course, asymmetric conventions: given
name only is the norm when the hearer-or-named is close kin of a descending
generation; though more distant affinal kin from a descending generation may
warrant title _ surname. 38 Amongst the religious groups of Old Order Amish
and Old Order Mennonites in Pennsylvania, USA and Ontario, Canada,
everyone gives and receives first names only, regardless of relative familiarity,
status, age and sex. These practices manifest the doctrine of humility.
There exist no titles and no honorifics; even for use on public occasions like a
church service or during any of the rites of passage. Furthermore, first names
are derived only from the Old Testament, and there is a limited number of
family names; in the small Mennonite town of St Jacobs in Waterloo County,
Ontario, there were at one time twenty-seven David Martins registered at the
local post office! So, most people have a distinguishing nickname (often
gently mocking) that can be used to refer to some absent person.
Many Aboriginal Australians, Austronesians and Papuans traditionally taboo
names for some kinsfolk, especially affines and, to a lesser extent, cross-consanguineal
kin – in particular, siblings of the other sex, cross-cousins and ‘clan
brothers and sisters’. 39 In many societies, e.g. among the Zia, a non-Austronesian
people who live in Morobe Province in south-eastern Papua New Guinea, personal
names are not used among spouses, siblings, and often not to descending generations.
Instead, speakers use kin titles and the translation equivalents of terms like
person, man, woman, boy, girl. Other societies use public names, nicknames, clan
names and kin descriptions like mother of X. Because relationships with in-laws
are notoriously difficult in all societies, the so-called ‘mother-in-law’ languages 40
(hlonipha among the Nguni), and all similar taboos on naming and addressing
kinsfolk are perhaps grounded in the desire to maintain social harmony.