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Part I: Seals teeth and whales ears - Scott Polar Research Institute ...

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<strong>and</strong> the others followed in quick succession. I received a ‘Royal Warrant’ made<br />

out to me; “age: stripling, class for leave: green, class for conduct: lower than a<br />

seals belly...” The charge was that I did, "with cruel br<strong>and</strong>ing irons, hurt annoy<br />

<strong>and</strong> insult, with criminal intent our Royal Sea Elephants <strong>and</strong> did so abuse them<br />

that they were sore put to it to find who was Angus <strong>and</strong> who was Agnes.<br />

Sentenced to be " Shaved with a red hot razor. Bathed in boiling oil <strong>and</strong><br />

deprived of the rights of man. Thence to be purged <strong>and</strong> lustrated." I gave the<br />

polar b<strong>ears</strong> as good as I got <strong>and</strong> ducked the three of them. Afterwards of course<br />

the whole court was thrown in - Barry first, in a splendid struggle. While we<br />

spliced the main-brace with gin <strong>and</strong> vermouth, there was a commotion to port,<br />

where several large fish, silvery with long dorsal fins <strong>and</strong> long beak were<br />

leaping 3-4 feet above the surface. Swordfish or sailfish perhaps? We had no<br />

means of telling.<br />

A spate of verse had begun to be let loose on the notice board, first::<br />

"Oh! I love to scuttle scuttle<br />

(A cephalopodic cuttle)<br />

through the waters of a prehistoric sea,<br />

in pursuit of protoplasmic animalculae phantasmic,<br />

but potential of the life that is to be.<br />

Oh! I love to wallow wallow<br />

in a wet <strong>and</strong> muddy hollow<br />

<strong>and</strong> paddle in the puddles after rain<br />

I'm a Pliocenic saurian who roars with voice stentorian<br />

o'er mushy marsh <strong>and</strong> pestilential plain<br />

Oh! I love to flitter flitter<br />

in the soft autumnal glitter<br />

making wheezy sounds with flabby leather wings<br />

I'm a playful pterodactyl<br />

<strong>and</strong> in joy I often quack till<br />

the murky Mesozoic welkin rings.<br />

Oh! I love to burrow burrow in a hot <strong>and</strong> s<strong>and</strong>y furrow;<br />

I must excavate in ditches little subterranean niches<br />

<strong>and</strong> revel in the musky scent of day.<br />

('tis said the backside of this fellow<br />

is tattoed red <strong>and</strong> yellow,<br />

a point on which biologists all bank).<br />

So each fossil that he sat on<br />

was imprinted with his pattern<br />

<strong>and</strong> his name <strong>and</strong> number, I'm a lizard who abhors the light of<br />

day’<br />

date <strong>and</strong> rank!)<br />

93

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