THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SATANIC CULT INVOLVEMENT: AN ...

262
the epistomophilic expressIOn of narcissistic omnipotence, resulting from projective
identification.
Becoming the child of Satan created a state of ambivalence in S, as his violent rejection of
paternal authority meant that any paternal relationship, although desired in an idealised
form, carried the implicit threat of becoming abusive and exploitative. Therefore, unlike
other Satanists, S came to resent the self-sacrifice he perceived Satan to demand of him
(94,95,96) S's solution to this dilemma was to completely incorporate and introjectively
identify with Satan, thereby avoiding the perceived threat of a dangerous child-father
dependency relationship (97). By becoming Satan, in fantasy, he could therefore dispense
with his reliance on Satan as a perceived external figure. This ultimately narcissistic
solution to a threatening dependency relationship led S to believe that he had practically
become the god which other Satanists worshipped. Consequently, even the powerful high
priest - another untrustworthy paternal figure - became subject to S in fantasy (97,98,99).
14.2.5. Motives for leaving Satanism and experience of this process
S's decision to leave Satanism, after eight years, was prompted by a sense of loss arising
from the disintegration oftwo successive marriages, following his partners discovery ofhis
satanic involvement (133,134,135). This double loss was a narcissistic injury which
punctured S's omnipotence and called his life-style into question. The possibility of
leaving the cult impacted dramatically upon S's relationship with Satan, who S believed
intuited this imminent rejection, and retaliated by attempting to destroy him (136, 138).
S's experience of Satan's destructive intentions toward him reflects a paranoid fantasy of
being attacked by the personified destructive subpersonality, should the ego's alliance with
this intrapsychic structure be threatened. S's leaving Satanism implied rupturing his close
identification with the destructive subpersonality, thereby exposing him to the wrath ofthe
bad paternal object which constituted the nucleus of this subpersonality. Satan, who had
once rescued him from the punitive paternal object, now became this destructive father
figure. This is evident in S's realisation that Satan had caused B's childhood abuse in
order to create the deceitful illusion that only he, Satan, could be depended on (54,55,56).
262