THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SATANIC CULT INVOLVEMENT: AN ...

88. Each time I've gone back I've had to prove
myselfagain. They treated me with suspicion.
But they knew I would be coming back.
89. I still hear voices and see things ... demons
talking to me, and so on. After I joined
Satanism I wouldhear voices talking about me,
talking to me. They would say bad things about
me ... I'm a failure, I'm no good, "nobody
loves you ", "why don't you kill yourself",
"Why don't you get involved again ... We're
waitingfor you ", that type ofstuff.
90. Today I'm on Fluenxyl injections, which
still controls it a bit. But I still sometimes hear
voices and see things at night. I see little
creatures running across the floor and up the
walls, I see demons appearing in my room.
88. E's fellow Satanists, although
suspicious of him, knew he would return
and insisted on him proving his loyalty to
the cult anew.
89. After becoming involved in Satanism
E experienced persecutory auditory
hallucinations, and demonic visual
hallucinations still persist.
90. Despite antipsychotic medication E
still experiences hallucinations.
91. I call people up from the church who've 91. The prayers of church members, who
been praying for me, then they come over and visit him when he calls, gIve him
prayfor me, then I'm okayfor the night. temporary respite from the hallucinations.
92. I also got sent to. K hospital for 30· days 92. E, tried for spraying satanic graffiti on
observation. I got caught spraying satanic a church wall, was acquitted after
graffiti on a church wall. There was a court psychiatrists testified to his mental
case but, on the advice of various doctors, instability at the time he committed the
charges were dropped They decided that I was cnme.
mentally unstable at the time I did it.
93. I dunno, perhaps I was unstable, perhaps 93. E acknowledges that he may well be
there is something psychologically wrong with psychologically disordered, and relates
me ... all the beatings I got when I was a kid this to the beatings he received as a child.
94. But the doctors didn't buy the story of
Satanism too well. There are very few people
who do believe ... until they get involved
themselves andsee what is happening.
94. The psychiatrists, like most people,
did not believe E's accounts of satanic
involvement, attributing these to his
psychotic condition.
How does it feel to be out of Satanism?
95. It feels lonely. I miss the people and the 95. E, now friendless and lonely, misses
rituals. I don't have anv friends, vou know. I the social and ritual aspects of Satanism,
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