THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SATANIC CULT INVOLVEMENT: AN ...

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them to destroy those higher up in rank as this is the easiest way to take up their position
and claim their demons for themselves".
(2) There is the the stress of living a dual existence as cultists and "ordinary" citizens
while maintaining their satanic identity secret. Adding to this stress is intracoven rivalry,
drug abuse, and physical exhaustion. The physical toll exacted is illustrated by subject
five: "My face developed deep wrinkles ... 1 looked anaemic ... my body felt cold and
lifeless ... 1 was constantly sick and exhausted. When 1 did sleep, I'd have nightmares
about what 1 was involved in". The deflation of the initial hypomania culminates in the
experience ofsensory deadness, as evidenced by subject seven: "1 was just existing, like a
shell. 1 lost all sensation oflife - my taste, my hearing, my smell, because 1 couldn'tfeel
or sense anything anymore".
(3) Conflict between the destructive subpersonality and residual libidinal parts of the self
manifests as guilt and distress in response to the more perverse cult practices. Subject
three relished animal sacrifices but, after allegedly witnessing the sacrifice of a human
infant, depressive feelings were evoked in him: "When it was over, 1 felt very sad, all
down and broken, you know". Subject one was similarly affected: "Human sacrifice
really got to me. 1remember seeing a baby skinned alive. and the high priest cut its little
heart out and eat it. It's terror ... you hear that little thing screaming and ... 1 don't
know". Those Satanists whose identification with the destructive subpersonality is
subverted by libidinal impulses, however attenuated, will be more prone to depressive
anxiety and guilt, and more likely to escape the cult.
(4) The expenence of ego-dystonic demonic posseSSIOn, and increasingly severe
persecution by Satan, makes continued cult involvement quite untenable. Suicide,
involuntary ritual sacrifice, or escape appear to be the only alternatives. Subject three
describes the oral-aggressive fantasies of internal persecution that prompted his attempts
to leave the cult: "1 couldn't handle the tension inside of me ... Satan and his demons
inside ofme, eating me, wanting to kill me".