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DEVELOPMENTAL CRISIS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD: A ...

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Pre-Crisis Commitments and Pre-Crisis Motives<br />

The pre-crisis predicaments in this sample are situations where a career and/or<br />

relationship has been undertaken for the wrong reason and has become dysfunctional.<br />

These problematic pre-crisis commitments are motivated by a similar pattern of<br />

“extrinsic” motives in all cases (Deci and Ryan, 1991). In some cases commitments<br />

are motivated by a need to conform to the demands of others and to cultural standards,<br />

and in some we find reports of obedience and compliance to spouses, parents or<br />

society. Conformity and compliance are both examples of what Ryan, Sheldon,<br />

Kasser and Deci (1996) refer to “externally regulated” motivations, in which the<br />

reason for action is not felt to be internal to the self, but rather belongs to others.<br />

These conformist or obedience motives can appear on the surface to be noble or<br />

agreeable. Rachel and Gemma both described living according to the external dictates<br />

of what a “nice girl” should be while living up to the expectations of spouse and<br />

parents. Vern, Violet and Leon described the sense of duty which led to a marriage or<br />

long-term relationship that they did not want, but was done out of consideration for<br />

their spouse or child. When such commitments are made in a relationship or in<br />

forming a marriage, the end-result is what Sternberg (1998) called “empty love” – a<br />

relationship which has commitment, but lacks intimacy and passion. Gemma<br />

described her “empty existence” in a loveless marriage and how she was “dying<br />

inside”.<br />

Alongside these socially compliant motives, we also find in the career-related<br />

clusters (career-woman crisis, all-consuming crisis, male career crisis) a pre-crisis set<br />

of motives to gain money, prestige, status and self-aggrandisement through career role<br />

and also through their relationship. These materialistic motives lead to commitments<br />

in lucrative but unfulfilling jobs. Materialistic and socially conformist motives can<br />

inter-relate, as some participants show both (e.g. Guy, Lynne). Both of these<br />

motivations; conformist/compliant and materialist are examples of “extrinsic<br />

motivation” (Deci, 1971), where action is carried out for later reward and for<br />

obligation rather than for ongoing satisfaction, enjoyment and fulfilment.<br />

Growing Crisis: Loss of Control and Passivity<br />

A sense of personal control is subtly undermined by conformist, compliant and<br />

materialist motives. In cases of conformity, goals and reasons for action are felt to<br />

belong to other person or persons who are being conformed to. Materialistic motives<br />

113

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