DEVELOPMENTAL CRISIS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD: A ...

and so there was unused freedom. Lots of freedom from but no freedom to. This is terribly
inarticulate, because I don’t know exactly what I am saying, but in the lack of a direction, somehow the
freedom was a bit meaningless. And she was still yet to develop the assertiveness that allows her to
remain upright despite being pushed around.
Angela memos
11/2/05
Its 4.30pm on Friday 11 th February 2005 and I am knackered. But just one more thing before I pack it
in for a four day holiday. Angela is in a job with people she doesn’t like and a boss who
psychologically bullies her. She should get out, but she doesn’t. This is the case in many of the
narratives so far. And why doesn’t she get out? Because “my confidence had gone by then”. She
doesn’t believe in her ability to bring about effective change, and this is surely a cause of the stasis. If
you don’t believe you can improve your lot, you don’t. Simple as that really. Lack of efficacy = stasis.
16/2/05
Angela’s interview is rich with material. It is another articulate account of finding expression of an
authentic self, finding a harmony of self and environment and of navigating the dialectic between
independent expression and autonomous activity and societal or familial expectations, conformist
pressures and obedience to authority. The data are suggesting quite clearly that this existential
challenge is far from being exclusively the domain of the adolescent, but is in fact an antecedent of
much crisis in adult life too. This fits with Mill’s philosophy and with those who see society as a
straightjacket as well as a facilitator. This would of course include Freud.
16/2/05
Interesting that, like Mary, Angela describes her mind as becoming fuzzy:
“My head was very fuzzy” p.7
When she is coming to a realisation that she cannot do the job.
16/2/05
In Angela there is an impression vs expression theme. Impression is an superordinate
intentional/attentional mode in which the self-as-object, the “m” is central – the key cognitive
evaluation is “how might I appear?” or “what might others think of me and of my action?” .
Expression is one in which the self-as-subject, the “I” is central – the key evaluation is “what
do I want?”, “what do I desire?”, or even “what does that other person genuinely desire?” (as
opposed to – what might that person think of me if I do something for him?”)
16/2/05
Before the crisis, Angela used to say yes to everyone and everything, rather than resist and
follow her insights or impulses. Same with Mary, same with Gemma, same with Rachel,
same with Camilla (I think), same with Lynne. This is an interesting thing, and again relates
to agency and assertiveness. In the write-up, I am going to have to link assertiveness and
agency very carefully.
Frances memos
28/1/05
This a narrative of being trapped in a relationship, of taking a victim role and of completely
losing all sense of agency, despite having been a fairly independent twenty something before
that, having travelled a lot and so forth. So it is not like Gemma who never really had an
adolescence. This is a question of being put in a relationship with someone who is sufficiently
controlling to essentially abuse Frances and turn her into a passive ‘blob’ of a human being –
a ‘non-person’. (fascinating that both Frances and Gemma use this term – this is more than
just coincidence).
28/1/05
As soon as I start reading Frances’s transcript, I am struck by how, just like the three other transcripts I
have read so far, the crisis begins with Mandy in a situation where her actions are heavily constrained
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