DEVELOPMENTAL CRISIS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD: A ...

order to make the family work. Frances had always had a strong desire and calling to
travel and to teach, but she had to lose these desires during her time in the destructive
relationship. Rachel from a young age had felt a strong desire to learn and to think
deeply, to work at a university, but this was not a sanctioned activity by her
immediate culture and family, so she had to hide it and read in secret. Gemma felt a
less specific, but no less passionate, desire to explore life, to open up to what she calls
a “zest” that she had to hide from her parents even as a child – a desire to explore
herself and the world:
“What I felt was something that I clutched on to from really quite early in my
childhood, and that’s a sense of my own self, a zest for life and a desire to survive and
get through come what may. And this kind of enthusiasm, this energy, that I knew I
always had, I had to hide that from my parents” (p.2)
Phase 2 – Mid Crisis: Liberation
The mid crisis phase of crisis in this cluster is defined by separation from the
domestic pre-crisis role. Separation from the domestic life structure involves both
psychological and physical changes, and brings with it high levels of distress, and also
a sense of liberation and excitement at new prospects.
Psychological Separation
In order to prepare for physical separation from their domestic role and
partners, these four women had to develop a belief that an existence beyond their
constricted and dissatisfying status quo was possible, and that they could identify with
something other than the dutiful wife/mother role.
For Rachel, this separation came with getting a part-time job as a teacher.
This new empowering work led her to imagine an autonomous life beyond her
husband, and this aided the gradual disidentification from her domestic life.
Gemma went to assertiveness classes, and went into therapy too, despite opposition
from husband and parents. In therapy she realised that she lacked self understanding or
indeed any self-knowledge, and that she felt false in her life as wife and mother. It is through
therapy and the assertiveness classes that she finds the resolution and resilience to leave her
husband.
Frances’s boyfriend was put in prison for six months when the police found
out about the drugs. During his time away, she developed a newfound assertiveness
and so moved out of their house. At this point, she realised that she wanted to escape:
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