DEVELOPMENTAL CRISIS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD: A ...

He decided to resign from his post and goes freelance, in the hope that he could find a
new and better life balance. His marriage also ends at the same time, leading to grief,
anxiety and confusion, but also to an “awakening” to the possibility of a better life.
Frank also has the same realisation that he had made the wrong decisions in
life in aiming at extrinsic, materialistic goals:
“So somehow I had made the wrong deal – I had sacrificed the ability to have
intellectual satisfaction, and changed that for having money and status, and it was the
wrong equation.” (p.2)
He reflects critically on his life as a result:
“Yeah I was very confused, I felt the world was shit, I just felt that the world is about
structure and rules, but they are inhuman and it’s a big deceit. Everything is
deceitful, I felt that my job was absolute bullshit and that whole system was just
cheating people out of a good life, and that marriage was hypocritical, and I just
absolutely stopped caring – completely nihilistic.” (p.12)
This realisation and the increasing cynicism precipitated an “urgent” separation from
his wife, whom he never really loved, and he was fired from his work at about the
same time, leading to a clear separation from his old life structure, both at home and
at work.
The crises of Victoria and Claire reach their peaked at age 30, while Lilly’s
crisis peaks earlier at age 26. All three left their pre-crisis jobs and relationships at the
peak of crisis due to growing dissatisfaction and frustration. Victoria reached a point
where she “hated” her job at the hairdresser, and she described holding back all her
negative emotion towards the clients. Her boyfriend suggested they move to London,
and despite her mother’s protestations, she decided to go. She said she still feels guilt
about leaving her mother, even now. As soon as she was in the UK, there is a
substantial change away from feeling controlled and constrained to feeling a sense of
positive potential:
“I was thinking wow I can do this, I can do that, I can do whatever I want. I don’t
have things controlling me and myself stopping me from doing things.” (p.17)
When Lilly had started in PR she enjoyed her work; she was swept up in the
glamour, the money and she liked her colleagues. But when she was moved to
Newhaven, a town that she described as “horrible”, her relationship was stretched
and she and her boyfriend decided on a separation. She used a metaphor of being
smothered to describe her feelings at the time:
“It was like being smothered, smothered with a pillow really. I am quite
claustrophobic anyway. I find London claustrophobic, but Newhaven is like being in
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