DEVELOPMENTAL CRISIS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD: A ...

Phase 2: Separation
Life Situation: Mental and Physical Separation from Phase 1 Roles
Experience: Emotional Upheaval: Grief, Anger, Depression
Self and Identity: Uncertain and Confused Sense of Self
Motivation: Change, Escape and Renewal
The constriction and stress of Phase 1 leads to a growing motivation to make
changes and to separate from the oppressive role(s). Separation, in the form of
resignation, redundancy and/or leaving a relationship, is the central component of
Phase 2. It involves both a mental and a physical distancing from the life structure
that defined Phase 1, and is the most distressing part of crisis for all participants. It is
initially precipitated by a growing assertiveness and agency, bringing with it a belief
in the possibility of life outside of the roles in which they have existed for so long,
and a growing motive to change, escape and break free. In Frances’ words:
“The only thing on my mind was escape, escape, just get out of here.” (p.8)
Separation may be initiated by oneself or others. For those who initiate separation on their
own terms, Phase 2 will be shorter as they have partially adjusted to the prospect of separation
prior to the physical act. For those who are forcibly separated, for example being fired or a
partner leaving them, Phase 2 will be more prolonged and distressing, and there will be a
post-separation phase of adjustment and depression. For the “all-consuming crisis” cluster
there will be two separations from both partner and job in Phase 2. For most these occurred
within several months of each other (e.g. Rob, Neil, George, Lilly) but for some there was a
period of limbo between the two separations, which prevented clear movement into Phase 3
(e.g . Victoria, Claire).
In all cases, the experience of Phase 2 is one of profound emotional upheaval
and upset. Just prior to separation, emotions that are experienced in this period are
predominantly anger, resentment, frustration and tension. Then once the person has
separated and left, emotions are typically guilt, grief, sadness and anxiety. Guilt is
often felt because the person may consider that they have transgressed an imperative
to do their duty and stay in a relationship or job. Grief and sadness will be felt due to
a sense of loss, while anxiety or in some cases even terror will be a result of an
uncertain future, an uncertain identity and a lack of clear life structure.
The self in Phase 2 is released from the external obligations and structures of
Phase 1 roles, but is yet to develop a more autonomous and flexible adult identity. As
a result individuals reported experiencing a sense of “total annihilation” (Guy, p.4) or
feeling “absolutely demolished” (Ben, p.2) in this phase. Mary described this as a
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