Honouring the Truth Reconciling for the Future

114 • Truth & Reconciliation Commissionlike the other gang. That’s the way at the school, that’s what we were taught, fears, andwe were scared, and I went to hide in what we called the junk room, the junk closet.” 489A lack of adequate supervision in the schools and residences meant that suchdomination could give rise to physical and sexual abuse. The assaults ranged frombeing forced to kiss someone, to being forced to simulate a sex act, to being raped. Insome cases, victims were given small treats to encourage them to be silent; in othercases, they were told they would be killed if they reported the assault. 490 Agnes Mosesrecalled being molested by older girls at a hostel in northern Canada. “I never quiteunderstood it, and it really wrecked my life, it wrecked my life as a mother, a wife, awoman, and sexuality was a real, it was a dirty word for us.” 491 The experience of beingabused at a British Columbia school by a group of boys left Don Willie distrustful ofmost people. “The only, only friends I kept after that were my relatives.” 492Complaints were infrequent, as students had good reason not to report their abuse.Some feared that bullies would retaliate if they were reported. Others were ashamedof what had been done to them, and some did not fully understand what had beendone to them. Many students feared they would not be believed—or would be blamedfor somehow bringing the abuse upon themselves. Still others were further punishedwhen they did tell. So, rather than report the abuse, many students chose to fight back;to seek admission into a receptive group, where violence could be fought with violence;or to endure the pain in silence. This victimization left many students feelingintensely betrayed, fearful, isolated, and bereft of home teachings and protection.The betrayal by fellow students has contributed significantly to the schools’ long-termlegacy of continuing division and distrust within Aboriginal communities. The residentialschool system’s shameful inability to protect students from such victimization,even from among themselves, represents one of its most significant and least-understoodfailures.Sports and culture: “It was a relief.”Many students stated that sports helped them make it through residential school.Christina Kimball attended the Roman Catholic school near The Pas, where she experiencedphysical, sexual, and emotional abuse. She believes that it was only throughher involvement with sports that she survived. “I was very sports-oriented. I playedbaseball. Well, we play baseball, and even hockey. We had a hockey team. That hasbenefited, benefited me in a way ’cause I loved playing sports. Well, that’s one way,too. I don’t know how I did it but I was pretty good in sports.” 493 Noel Starblanket saidthat at the Qu’Appelle school, “I had some good moments, in particular in the sportsside, ’cause I really enjoyed sports. I was quite athletic, and basically that’s what kept