ââ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

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SUMMARY The social-style approach focuses nonjudgmentally on the behavioral styles of oneself and others with the purpose of teaching one to adapt to and improve interpersonal interaction. It is useful in both personal and professional relationships, is easy to teach to people at any organizational level, and can serve a number of organizational goals. REFERENCES Fiedler, F. (1967). A theory of leadership effectiveness. New York: McGraw-Hill. The many faces of the four style grid. (1982, November). Training/HRD, p. 137. Merrill, D.W., & Reid, R.H. (1981). Personal style and effective performance. Radnor, PA: Chilton. O’Brien, R.T. (1983, January). Blood and black bile: Four style behavior models in training. Training/HRD, pp. 54-57. Snavely, W.B. (1981, Spring). The impact of social style upon person perception in primary relationships. Communication Quarterly, pp. 132-142. 122 ❘❚ The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer
❚❘ THE FEELINGS VOCABULARY: A TOOL FOR HRD PROFESSIONALS Kathy L. Dovey and William L. Summer Feelings are our reactions to the world around us. Many experts agree that all feelings are derived from one of four basic emotions: anger, joy, grief, and fear (represented, respectively, by the adjectives “mad,” “glad,” “sad,” and “afraid”). People’s abilities to express their feelings vary widely. Some people have the ability not only to state at any point in time which of the four emotions they are experiencing but also to pinpoint the precise word that defines the feeling. Others easily can identify their basic emotions, but are stymied in distinguishing beyond that. Still others have to struggle to identify their feelings or, in some cases, are unable to admit to being mad, glad, sad, or afraid. Conventional wisdom in human behavior seems to be that a person benefits greatly by being in touch with his or her feelings. Understanding one’s feelings facilitates not only the development of intimacy in interpersonal relations but also the management of stress and physical and mental well-being. In the popular book Mind Traps: Change Your Mind, Change Your Life, Tom Rusk and Natalie Rusk (1988, p. 49) say, “Feelings are the reason anyone cares about anything in life. Without feelings, life would have no quality, good or bad.” Human functioning and growth are largely dependent on the ability not only to identify but also to describe feelings. Understanding oneself and how one’s behavior affects others, communicating, and building satisfactory relationships are all dependent on this ability. The process of identifying feelings and describing them in a clear, concise manner can be learned. Personal-growth training, for example, provides participants with an opportunity to express their feelings openly and to receive feedback on how that expression affects others. Participants may find that sharing their feelings in this type of setting is either easier or harder than previously experienced, depending on whether the group is supportive or unsupportive. But at least the training setting offers a chance to explore feelings in depth. Trainers often ask questions such as “What are you feeling at this moment?” Some participants find themselves pausing for an uncomfortably long period of time as they struggle to reply; others attempt an awkward, rambling discourse on how they feel. But with persistence people gradually improve at understanding and expressing their feelings. People who are unaccustomed to dealing with their feelings and want to change this mind-set may encounter certain barriers, one of which is defenses that have been built up as protection against pain. It may take exceptional discipline for a “feelings novice” Originally published in The 1990 Annual: Developing Human Resources by J. William Pfeiffer (Ed.), San Diego, CA: Pfeiffer & Company. The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer ❚❘ 123
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❚❘ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFEC
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3. Hostility. Hostility may create
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10. Mind wandering. This is a state
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“Feel” statements refer to the
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❚❘ “DON’T YOU THINK THAT .
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The questioner is attempting to eli
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Or the questioner may precede his o
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from the basic aims of human relati
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Activity 6 1. The participants form
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1. No number or array of numbers ca
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REFERENCES Jones, J.E. (1972). Mode
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A DEFINITION OF CLARITY “Getting
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person has his or her own set of pe
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frustrated in his or her efforts to
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Feedback The use of feedback is imp
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13. Use as many channels as necessa
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These modes of response may communi
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A More Effective Approach Problems
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❚❘ KENEPATHY Michele Stimac The
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here-and-now becomes past data that
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there-and-then data that need to be
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REFERENCES Brammer, L. (1973). The
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The second set of symbols with whic
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abstracting process when they are a
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example, if the emphasis is on the
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❚❘ MAKING REQUESTS THROUGH META
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❚❘ NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION AND
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Kinesics Movement of the body (head
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Self-Awareness One technique in thi
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Awareness in Situations Within the
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to deal with power and influence, t
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In training there is ample evidence
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Figure 2. Male and Female Ego State
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■ In co-training, the male traine
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❚❘ COMMUNICATING COMMUNICATION
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Page 73 and 74: Logical, Lecturing Response. “Don
Page 75 and 76: ❚❘ ANYBODY WITH EYES CAN SEE TH
Page 77 and 78: 5. Data from sense organs, fed into
Page 79 and 80: INTERPRETATION OF “MR. RAT” It
Page 81 and 82: ❚❘ THE FOUR-COMMUNICATION-STYLE
Page 83 and 84: Shifting Styles Under Stress Our so
Page 85 and 86: analyze a complex interpersonal iss
Page 87 and 88: ❚❘ JARGON: REDISCOVERING A POWE
Page 89 and 90: experiencing the solid, down-to-ear
Page 91 and 92: the good of “the team.” Similar
Page 93 and 94: etrievals (Fuld & Buschke, 1976). T
Page 95 and 96: ❚❘ UNDERSTANDING AND IMPROVING
Page 97 and 98: The fourth and final type of inform
Page 99 and 100: Figure 1. The Communication Model:
Page 101 and 102: analysis, it may be found that the
Page 103 and 104: CONGRUENCY Another important elemen
Page 105 and 106: ❚❘ A PRIMER ON SOCIAL STYLES Be
Page 107 and 108: Figure 1. The Social-Style Profile
Page 109 and 110: + - Figure 2. The DRIVER The Pfeiff
Page 111 and 112: + - Figure 4. The AMIABLE The Pfeif
Page 113 and 114: Figure 6. Shared Behaviors Among So
Page 115 and 116: Other Analytics Perceive you as tho
Page 117 and 118: Analyticals* Relate to your imagina
Page 119 and 120: 5. Selection. The social-style appr
Page 121: Table 1 (continued). The Many Faces
Page 125 and 126: MAD High Medium Low Angry Bitter Bo
Page 127 and 128: USE OF THE LIST IN HUMAN RESOURCE D
Page 129 and 130: ❚❘ USING PERSONALITY TYPOLOGY T
Page 131 and 132: perceiving). People with an N (intu
Page 133 and 134: for the unexpected. He or she remai
Page 135 and 136: Keirsey and Bates Temperaments The
Page 137 and 138: The Sensing-Perceiving (SP) Manager
Page 139 and 140: wants to learn the theory or the co
Page 141 and 142: REFERENCES AND SUGGESTED READINGS K
Page 143 and 144: This speaker-centered view of commu
Page 145 and 146: account the many changes that occur
Page 147 and 148: Process The second major component
Page 149 and 150: form negative and adverse feelings
Page 151 and 152: Negotiation of Selves Using the ter
Page 153 and 154: Barnlund, D.C. (1970). A transactio
Page 155 and 156: ❚❘ OPENNESS, COLLUSION, AND FEE
Page 157 and 158: (and the members of the system) to
Page 159 and 160: The third feedback criterion, takin
Page 161 and 162: ❚❘ THE JOHARI WINDOW: A MODEL F
Page 163 and 164: may be that if the group knew of my
Page 165 and 166: Figure 4. Ideal Window and Extreme
Page 167 and 168: The goal of eliciting feedback and
Page 169 and 170: Descriptive or Evaluative Feedback
Page 171 and 172: A Representation of Reality What re
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“Waterfall” Design Although thi
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❚❘ GIVING FEEDBACK: AN INTERPER
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problem lies in reaching some mutua
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ehaviors that manifest low self-est
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sessions, participants may cover ev
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other way could you have given her
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APPENDIX: A FEEDBACK CHECKLIST Rati
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❚❘ INTERPERSONAL FEEDBACK AS CO
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Figure 2. Example of Inferential Pr
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❚❘ MAKING JUDGMENTS DESCRIPTIVE
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performance for you in your job wou
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❚❘ ALTERNATIVE DATA-FEEDBACK DE
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Figure 1. The Data-Collection/Feedb
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4. Hope. Not all of the feelings th
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example, people may feel that worki
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and that the formal work group is t
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The key characteristics of this app
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obviously, involves the degree to w
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members of the system (members of t
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Bowers, D.G., & Franklin, J.L. (197
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often rejected by the recipient; an
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initiated the feedback could benefi
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Blumberg, H.H. (1972). Communicatio
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❚❘ THE LOST ART OF FEEDBACK Han
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GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK T
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is appropriate and will be apprecia
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Giving Feedback: “You Can’t Tel
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They offer a logical and effective
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REFERENCE Blanchard, K., & Johnson,
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Consultant (to the client group):
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Consultant (to Member A): “What i
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saying what you wanted to say in th
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explicitly invites and allows the c
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Evaluation If Wheeler continues to
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Lack of time and energy is also a b
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❚❘ ENCOURAGEMENT: GIVING POSITI
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child, should never think that he o
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❚❘ CREATING CONDITIONS THAT ENC
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Table 1. Obstacles to Mentoring Fea
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Similarly, performance appraisal an
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structures and systems in the organ
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enthusiasm. In settings in which em
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opportunity to talk with a third pa
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Table 3 (continued). Structural Int
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The impact of the physical space of
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includes the education and involvem
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necessarily defined over time, step
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Harrison (1970) suggests that an in
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Deal, T.E., & Kennedy, A.A. (1982).
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❚❘ IMPROVING THE USE OF BEHAVIO
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most dependent on coding. A simple
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model. This would prevent objection
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1. Give participants a verbal model
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❚❘ USING MENTORING FOR PROFESSI
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WHY INFORMAL MENTORING AND PERFORMA
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implementation are undertaken after
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■ What skills will we need to imp
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The process of articulating a philo
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In addition, the nine mentors and t
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developed and successful: How will
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❚❘ ATTRIBUTION THEORY: APPLICAT
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Dimensions of Attributions There ar
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and advantageous attributions for f
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Applications in the Managerial Coac
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❚❘ CONFRONTATION: TYPES, CONDIT
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In summary, the purposes and motive
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dismiss the confrontation and me as
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Although creative growth is seldom
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■ The Confidentiality Assumption:
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❚❘ ASSERTION THEORY Colleen Kel
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Nonverbal Behavior Each response st
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sexist remarks, and handling variou
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❚❘ DEALING WITH ANGER John E. J
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DEALING WITH PERSONAL ANGER The obv
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❚❘ CONTRACTING: A PROCESS AND A
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costs, courses of action, methods t
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A third advantage to contracting is
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❚❘ ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO CHANGE
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usiness to intervene, you might mak
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6. If you encounter resistance, shi
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could be created in a package deal.
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A MODEL OF NEGOTIATION Figure 3 sum
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■ Exploratory moves often are pre
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❚❘ THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF ASSERT
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6. Mutuality: accepting another per
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Rights also imply responsibilities
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2. Fogging. “I can see how you mi
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3. Stating a need with a request fo
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We can follow Les, a fictional part
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SUMMARY This article has discussed
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Bloom, L.Z., Coburn, K., & Pearlman
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McCaffery, M. (1983). Personal mark
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❚❘ A POSITIVE APPROACH TO RESIS
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punished, or “sold” on what the
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❚❘ FOUR CULTURAL DIMENSIONS AND
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■ Change occurs by dethroning tho
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Where individualism is high, a thor
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1. The structure of a communication
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❚❘ SOCIAL INTERACTION AND ORGAN
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of defunct cultures. However, some
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form they take, these sequences des
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present as varied a support for his
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a remote outpost or office location
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the culture of the opponents is mod
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epulsion. Groups become cohesive wh
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Jourard, S.M. (1971). Self-disclosu
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about how to develop and use influe
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produce movement or change. Harriso
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managers were seen as transactional
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❚❘ DESIGNING MORE EFFECTIVE ORI
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consistency in linking newcomers wi
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3. First day at work. The new emplo
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IN CONCLUSION: ELEMENTS OF EFFECTIV
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5. The new employee has lunch with
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❚❘ LEGENDARY CUSTOMER SERVICE A
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These efforts dramatically communic
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FUNDAMENTAL 4: LISTEN The fact that
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Every organization must judge its a
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test their talents, and failing to
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❚❘ HOW TO MAKE NEW-EMPLOYEE ORI
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8. Adult-learning concepts guide th
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ORIENTATION-CONTENT CHECKLIST 1 Ins
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ORIENTATION-CONTENT CHECKLIST (cont
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❚❘ SEXUAL DIFFERENCES IN THE WO
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may even suppress female-oriented b
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learn to respect and to deal with t
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no female permanent secretaries in
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Hostile environment harassment occu
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instance “hostile” means that t
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■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ To lear
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helpful if the question does not ha
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❚❘ FROM VISION TO ACTION: DETER
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perspective, and she wanted both ma
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Instructions: Rate each of the foll
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❚❘ OPERATIONAL DEFINITIONS: AN
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and end users now define and redefi
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in meaningful ways. Each definition
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uilt on shared expectations and kno
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interpretations of the same or simi
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■ Benchmarking is “. . . the pr
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PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS We usually h
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ââ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION