„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

usiness to intervene, you might make a brief statement about why it is part of your job
to be concerned or how the action that is happening concretely affects you.
It is very easy to describe your concern in a damaging way. Consider the following
statements, none of which specifically describes what is happening or why it is
bothersome to the speaker: “Your brother would never do that!” “Stop that or you’ll get
a spanking!” “Mommy doesn’t like it when you behave badly!” “I’m telling your father
tonight!”
3. Involve the individual in the solution. Statements or questions that involve the
other person in the solution increase the chances that the proposed solution will be
implemented and that you, the intervenor, may learn a new solution to a problem. It is
important to enter into this solution-finding stage without knowing how the problem will
be resolved.
4. Ensure that you are satisfied with the solution. While it is hoped that you will
enter into the negotiating stage with an open mind, you must ensure that the outcome of
the negotiation is satisfactory to you, the person affected. If you know the minimal result
you want to happen, it is easier to ensure your satisfaction.
Being satisfied with the solution also means that you are willing to follow the
situation to its logical conclusion(s) should the other person choose not to define a
mutually acceptable solution. An example is the patient who decides to seek another
medical opinion because he or she is not satisfied with the physician’s response to his or
her concern. It is important to remember that all interventions do not work. If the
situation is truly a “must,” you must be prepared to carry your intervention to its logical
consequences and have the power to do so.
5. If you feel resistance, shift to active listening. Active listening involves showing
the individual not only that you heard what was said, but also that you recognized the
feeling associated with what was said. When the person with whom you are talking feels
resistant, it is difficult for him or her to consider alternative solutions. Active listening
helps that person to express further how he or she is feeling. Once the other person has
expressed these feelings and feels that you have heard him or her, problem solving is
easier. To complete the must intervention, however, you must then return the focus to
finding a solution with which you can be satisfied.
Other Helpful Hints
Because attempting to change behavior is likely to be stressful for both parties, it is
important for the intervenor to be as descriptive as possible and to avoid language that
labels the other person’s behavior. It is also important to avoid creating a situation in
which other individuals feel that they have to defend their behavior (that is, “Why did
you do that?”).
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The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer