„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

noting, “Now that you are not a child anymore, perhaps you would like to look at some
things differently.” Reinforcing a static philosophy (“You’ve always been that way;
you’re not going to change”) can actually inhibit change or growth.
5. Misused Psychological Tests. For people who doubt their own abilities, an
“objective, scientific” test can be the ultimate discourager. Such tests often “label”
people and the people then act in accordance with the labels. Although all tests
obviously are not harmful, it is wise to remember that we build on strengths, not
weaknesses. Thus, it is important to focus on people’s assets whenever possible.
The goal is not to cease all discouragement completely; indeed, all helping persons
at times need to confront others. The goal is to combine such confrontation with
encouragement as a means of maximizing the ability to impact others positively.
Dinkmeyer and Dreikurs (1963) note that the proper use of encouragement involves the
following:
1. Valuing individuals as they are, not as their reputations indicate or as one hopes
they will be. Believing in individuals as good and worthwhile will facilitate
acting toward them in this manner.
2. Having faith in the abilities of others. This enables the helper to win confidence
while building the self-respect of the other person.
3. Showing faith in others. This will help them to believe in themselves.
4. Giving recognition for effort as well as for a job well done.
5. Using a group to help the person to develop. This makes practical use of the
assumption that, for social beings, the need to belong is basic.
6. Integrating the group so that the individual can discover his or her place and
begin working positively from that point.
7. Planning for success and assisting in the development of skills that are
sequentially and psychologically paced.
8. Identifying and focusing on strengths and assets rather than on mistakes.
9. Using the interests of the individual in order to motivate learning and instruction.
In addition, Carl Reimer (1967) lists ten specific “words of encouragement”:
1. “You do a good job of . . . .” People should be encouraged when they do not
expect encouragement, when they are not asking for it. It is possible to point out
some useful act or contribution of everyone. Even a comment about something
that may seem small and insignificant could have an important positive impact.
2. “You have improved in. . . .” Growth and improvement are things we should
expect from all. If any progress is noted, there is less chance of discouragement
and individuals usually will continue to try.
3. “We like (enjoy) you, but we don’t like what you do.” People frequently feel
disliked after having made mistakes or after misbehaving. A person, especially a
244 ❘❚
The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer