„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

elationships. Gilligan does not say that one or the other is preferable; she merely
presents the data in the hope of increasing understanding.
Lever (1976) has documented that attachment to and separation from others often
are expressed in the games of children. Males more often play outdoors, in large groups
with a wide age range. Females more often play indoors, in smaller groups with a
narrow age range. Males more often play games that emphasize competition, and they
quarrel more often. Females more often play games that emphasize relationships; and
when quarrels or disputes arise, they often end the games. Furthermore, males play with
enemies and compete with friends, in accordance with the rules. Females play mostly
with friends in smaller, more intimate groups that are more willing to make exceptions
to the rules.
The best-selling book You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in
Conversation (Tannen, 1990) also cites the basic differences between the orientations of
and assumptions made by men and women. These assumptions cause them to view
things differently and, in fact, to communicate in “different languages.” Among other
things, men are concerned with data, and women are concerned with interrelationships
(between things as well as people).
Interpersonal training has revealed that there may be significant differences
between men and women with regard to how they perceive their own work styles, as
well as what they perceive as acceptable work styles in others.
Malcolm Hornby (1992), Director of Delta Management in the U.K., says that in
his interpersonal-skills training programs, he finds that “Men expect themselves to be
seen as drivers, or task-oriented individuals who are tough-minded decision makers with
strong leadership styles. But men see women as more amiable, less assertive, and more
emotionally responsive. This can cause men to regard women as more indecisive and
participative in their leadership approaches.”
Hornby goes on to note that a woman sometimes can be perceived unfavorably by
both sexes if she demonstrates more task-oriented, driving behavior. “She may be seen
as unresponsive, single-minded, aggressive, stubborn, hardnosed, unfeminine,
insensitive, selfish, and threatening,” he says. “Many of these attributes would be seen
as strengths in her male counterparts. But from a woman, it can sometimes break the
man’s paradigm of expected female behavior.”
On the other hand, men who exhibit analytical or emotionally responsive behaviors
may be viewed as indecisive, amiable, chatty, soft, and unbusinesslike. The essential
element in interpersonal skill development is to recognize that all work styles are needed
to make a productive workplace. “When one worker’s behavior does not conform to
another worker’s expectations, it is the worker with the expectations who needs to
demonstrate greater versatility in his or her own work style,” explains Hornby. In other
words, learning to understand and to value other people’s approaches to work can be
invaluable in enhancing overall productivity.
Clearly, if men and women are to work together effectively, they need to
understand some of the basic psychological differences between them; and they need to
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The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer