„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

challenged with the question “What is it in my behavior that you choose to allow to
bother you?”
Mind reading refers to drawing conclusions about a person’s thoughts or feelings
without directly communicating with that person. An example is a comment such as “He
won’t say anything because he’s afraid of stating his opinion.” An appropriate response
might be “How do you know he’s afraid?”
The third type of error in logic, unlimited generalization, deals with personal
opinions that are stated as if they pertain to everyone or to the world itself. For example,
the statement “It’s a good idea to share feelings with others” may be countered with the
question “For whom is it a good idea to share feelings with others?”
A fourth and final type of error in logic involves making unwarranted assumptions,
assuming that some condition exists without verifying its existence. A group leader, for
example, might say, “Who will be the first to share personal feelings?” The assumption
behind this statement is that the members are willing to share their feelings. In addition,
statements that are introduced with phrases such as “I wonder,” “I question,” “I’m
curious,” “I know,” and “I understand” often contain embedded commands: “I wonder if
you’re thinking about volunteering to be first.” Many people respond to such commands
by complying, even though they have not been asked specifically to do so. Superficially
the response called for is simply “yes” or “no,” but an implicit command of this kind is
commonly used to control behavior. For instance, if a group leader wishes to tell the
members to rearrange the chairs, he or she might say, “You can rearrange the chairs
now.” Although simply a statement of possibility, this phraseology probably would lead
the group members to respond directly by rearranging the chairs. In general, the
appropriate challenge to this type of error in logic is to ask the speaker whether he or she
is actually requesting that something be done.
THE COMMUNICATION MODEL
The Communication Model (see Figure 1) offers an advantage over the Meta Model in
that it is easier to understand, to explain to others, and to use in various settings. It is
based on evidence that everyone uses three types of imagery for representing
information in the process of communication: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. These
“representational systems” are used to help one to recall certain information as well as to
give and receive information. An individual’s principal representational system or
preferred type of imagery can be determined by analyzing a variety of cues, the most
popular of which are specific words and eye movements.
A person whose primary representational system is visual uses many phrases that
are visually oriented, such as “I see what you mean” or “I can see the picture
unfolding.” Specific eye movements also characterize this preference. People with this
type of orientation tend either to look upward or to defocus when trying to
communicate, interpret, or remember something.
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The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright © 1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer