ââ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

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people attempting to communicate, sharing what they heard from one another. The third implication is that people need to become acutely aware of the range of signals that they are emitting at any given moment. They can learn that by eliciting feedback from the people with whom they are attempting to share meaning. 50 ❘❚ The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright © 1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer
❚❘ MAKING REQUESTS THROUGH META<strong>COMMUNICATION</strong> Charles M. Rossiter, Jr. When we communicate with others, we do so on two levels. The first is the denotative level. This is the level that deals with what we say—our words, the straightforward verbal content of our messages. The second is the metacommunicative level. We communicate on this level whenever we communicate about our communication. Virginia Satir (1967), a wellknown therapist, has suggested that we use communication about our communication to make requests of the person with whom we are interacting. Metacommunications can be explicit and verbal, or they can be less obvious nonverbal cues. My tone of voice when I say “Get out of my office” to someone tells that person how to interpret my words. It tells him or her whether I am joking or serious. The nonverbal aspects of my voice indicate a request that he or she interpret my verbal, denotative message a certain way. By interpreting messages at both levels—denotative and metacommunicative—people decide what they think we mean, then act on that basis. Obviously there can be interpretation problems. Because so many metacommunications are nonverbal, meanings must be inferred. Another problem is that we may not know how we really feel about the other person. We may do things to confound that person—because we are not sure ourselves what we want him or her to do or how we want him or her to interpret a message. To amplify just a bit, let us presume that I really do not like a particular person, but that I also have difficulty rejecting people in general. This creates conflict in me. I want to reject the person, yet I do not want to. In such a situation, an interaction might go like this: Me: Get out of my office (in a tone that says I’m serious). Other: Oh, I didn’t know you were busy. (He turns and starts to leave.) Me: Wait a minute. (I feel guilty when I see he is leaving and feeling rejected.) Other: Huh? Me: Where are you going? Other: You told me to get out. Me: Other: Oh, I was only kidding. (I deny the metacommunication given earlier.) (Confusion: What should he believe—my tone of voice earlier or my verbal message now? What should he do? Should he stay or go?) Originally published in The 1974 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators by J. William Pfeiffer and John E. Jones (Eds.), San Diego, CA: Pfeiffer & Company. The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright © 1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer ❚❘ 51
Page 1 and 2: ❚❘ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFEC
Page 3 and 4: 3. Hostility. Hostility may create
Page 5 and 6: 10. Mind wandering. This is a state
Page 7 and 8: “Feel” statements refer to the
Page 9 and 10: ❚❘ “DON’T YOU THINK THAT .
Page 11 and 12: The questioner is attempting to eli
Page 13 and 14: Or the questioner may precede his o
Page 15 and 16: from the basic aims of human relati
Page 17 and 18: Activity 6 1. The participants form
Page 19 and 20: 1. No number or array of numbers ca
Page 21 and 22: REFERENCES Jones, J.E. (1972). Mode
Page 23 and 24: A DEFINITION OF CLARITY “Getting
Page 25 and 26: person has his or her own set of pe
Page 27 and 28: frustrated in his or her efforts to
Page 29 and 30: Feedback The use of feedback is imp
Page 31 and 32: 13. Use as many channels as necessa
Page 33 and 34: These modes of response may communi
Page 35 and 36: A More Effective Approach Problems
Page 37 and 38: ❚❘ KENEPATHY Michele Stimac The
Page 39 and 40: here-and-now becomes past data that
Page 41 and 42: there-and-then data that need to be
Page 43 and 44: REFERENCES Brammer, L. (1973). The
Page 45 and 46: The second set of symbols with whic
Page 47 and 48: abstracting process when they are a
Page 49: example, if the emphasis is on the
Page 53 and 54: ❚❘ NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION AND
Page 55 and 56: Kinesics Movement of the body (head
Page 57 and 58: Self-Awareness One technique in thi
Page 59 and 60: Awareness in Situations Within the
Page 61 and 62: to deal with power and influence, t
Page 63 and 64: In training there is ample evidence
Page 65 and 66: Figure 2. Male and Female Ego State
Page 67 and 68: ■ In co-training, the male traine
Page 69 and 70: ❚❘ COMMUNICATING COMMUNICATION
Page 71 and 72: 5. Use as few words as possible to
Page 73 and 74: Logical, Lecturing Response. “Don
Page 75 and 76: ❚❘ ANYBODY WITH EYES CAN SEE TH
Page 77 and 78: 5. Data from sense organs, fed into
Page 79 and 80: INTERPRETATION OF “MR. RAT” It
Page 81 and 82: ❚❘ THE FOUR-COMMUNICATION-STYLE
Page 83 and 84: Shifting Styles Under Stress Our so
Page 85 and 86: analyze a complex interpersonal iss
Page 87 and 88: ❚❘ JARGON: REDISCOVERING A POWE
Page 89 and 90: experiencing the solid, down-to-ear
Page 91 and 92: the good of “the team.” Similar
Page 93 and 94: etrievals (Fuld & Buschke, 1976). T
Page 95 and 96: ❚❘ UNDERSTANDING AND IMPROVING
Page 97 and 98: The fourth and final type of inform
Page 99 and 100: Figure 1. The Communication Model:
Page 101 and 102:
analysis, it may be found that the
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CONGRUENCY Another important elemen
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❚❘ A PRIMER ON SOCIAL STYLES Be
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Figure 1. The Social-Style Profile
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+ - Figure 2. The DRIVER The Pfeiff
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+ - Figure 4. The AMIABLE The Pfeif
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Figure 6. Shared Behaviors Among So
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Other Analytics Perceive you as tho
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Analyticals* Relate to your imagina
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5. Selection. The social-style appr
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Table 1 (continued). The Many Faces
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❚❘ THE FEELINGS VOCABULARY: A T
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MAD High Medium Low Angry Bitter Bo
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USE OF THE LIST IN HUMAN RESOURCE D
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❚❘ USING PERSONALITY TYPOLOGY T
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perceiving). People with an N (intu
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for the unexpected. He or she remai
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Keirsey and Bates Temperaments The
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The Sensing-Perceiving (SP) Manager
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wants to learn the theory or the co
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REFERENCES AND SUGGESTED READINGS K
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This speaker-centered view of commu
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account the many changes that occur
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Process The second major component
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form negative and adverse feelings
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Negotiation of Selves Using the ter
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Barnlund, D.C. (1970). A transactio
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❚❘ OPENNESS, COLLUSION, AND FEE
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(and the members of the system) to
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The third feedback criterion, takin
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❚❘ THE JOHARI WINDOW: A MODEL F
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may be that if the group knew of my
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Figure 4. Ideal Window and Extreme
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The goal of eliciting feedback and
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Descriptive or Evaluative Feedback
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A Representation of Reality What re
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“Waterfall” Design Although thi
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❚❘ GIVING FEEDBACK: AN INTERPER
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problem lies in reaching some mutua
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ehaviors that manifest low self-est
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sessions, participants may cover ev
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other way could you have given her
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APPENDIX: A FEEDBACK CHECKLIST Rati
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❚❘ INTERPERSONAL FEEDBACK AS CO
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Figure 2. Example of Inferential Pr
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❚❘ MAKING JUDGMENTS DESCRIPTIVE
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performance for you in your job wou
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❚❘ ALTERNATIVE DATA-FEEDBACK DE
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Figure 1. The Data-Collection/Feedb
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4. Hope. Not all of the feelings th
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example, people may feel that worki
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and that the formal work group is t
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The key characteristics of this app
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obviously, involves the degree to w
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members of the system (members of t
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Bowers, D.G., & Franklin, J.L. (197
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often rejected by the recipient; an
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initiated the feedback could benefi
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Blumberg, H.H. (1972). Communicatio
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❚❘ THE LOST ART OF FEEDBACK Han
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GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK T
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is appropriate and will be apprecia
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Giving Feedback: “You Can’t Tel
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They offer a logical and effective
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REFERENCE Blanchard, K., & Johnson,
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Consultant (to the client group):
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Consultant (to Member A): “What i
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saying what you wanted to say in th
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explicitly invites and allows the c
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Evaluation If Wheeler continues to
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Lack of time and energy is also a b
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❚❘ ENCOURAGEMENT: GIVING POSITI
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child, should never think that he o
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❚❘ CREATING CONDITIONS THAT ENC
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Table 1. Obstacles to Mentoring Fea
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Similarly, performance appraisal an
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structures and systems in the organ
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enthusiasm. In settings in which em
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opportunity to talk with a third pa
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Table 3 (continued). Structural Int
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The impact of the physical space of
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includes the education and involvem
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necessarily defined over time, step
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Harrison (1970) suggests that an in
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Deal, T.E., & Kennedy, A.A. (1982).
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❚❘ IMPROVING THE USE OF BEHAVIO
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most dependent on coding. A simple
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model. This would prevent objection
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1. Give participants a verbal model
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❚❘ USING MENTORING FOR PROFESSI
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WHY INFORMAL MENTORING AND PERFORMA
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implementation are undertaken after
Page 285 and 286:
■ What skills will we need to imp
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The process of articulating a philo
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In addition, the nine mentors and t
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developed and successful: How will
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❚❘ ATTRIBUTION THEORY: APPLICAT
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Dimensions of Attributions There ar
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and advantageous attributions for f
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Applications in the Managerial Coac
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❚❘ CONFRONTATION: TYPES, CONDIT
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In summary, the purposes and motive
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dismiss the confrontation and me as
Page 308 and 309:
Although creative growth is seldom
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■ The Confidentiality Assumption:
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❚❘ ASSERTION THEORY Colleen Kel
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Nonverbal Behavior Each response st
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sexist remarks, and handling variou
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❚❘ DEALING WITH ANGER John E. J
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DEALING WITH PERSONAL ANGER The obv
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❚❘ CONTRACTING: A PROCESS AND A
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costs, courses of action, methods t
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A third advantage to contracting is
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❚❘ ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO CHANGE
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usiness to intervene, you might mak
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6. If you encounter resistance, shi
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could be created in a package deal.
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A MODEL OF NEGOTIATION Figure 3 sum
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■ Exploratory moves often are pre
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❚❘ THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF ASSERT
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6. Mutuality: accepting another per
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Rights also imply responsibilities
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2. Fogging. “I can see how you mi
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3. Stating a need with a request fo
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We can follow Les, a fictional part
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SUMMARY This article has discussed
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Bloom, L.Z., Coburn, K., & Pearlman
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McCaffery, M. (1983). Personal mark
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❚❘ A POSITIVE APPROACH TO RESIS
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punished, or “sold” on what the
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❚❘ FOUR CULTURAL DIMENSIONS AND
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■ Change occurs by dethroning tho
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Where individualism is high, a thor
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1. The structure of a communication
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❚❘ SOCIAL INTERACTION AND ORGAN
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of defunct cultures. However, some
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form they take, these sequences des
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present as varied a support for his
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a remote outpost or office location
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the culture of the opponents is mod
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epulsion. Groups become cohesive wh
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Jourard, S.M. (1971). Self-disclosu
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about how to develop and use influe
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produce movement or change. Harriso
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managers were seen as transactional
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❚❘ DESIGNING MORE EFFECTIVE ORI
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consistency in linking newcomers wi
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3. First day at work. The new emplo
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IN CONCLUSION: ELEMENTS OF EFFECTIV
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5. The new employee has lunch with
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❚❘ LEGENDARY CUSTOMER SERVICE A
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These efforts dramatically communic
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FUNDAMENTAL 4: LISTEN The fact that
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Every organization must judge its a
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test their talents, and failing to
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❚❘ HOW TO MAKE NEW-EMPLOYEE ORI
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8. Adult-learning concepts guide th
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ORIENTATION-CONTENT CHECKLIST 1 Ins
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ORIENTATION-CONTENT CHECKLIST (cont
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❚❘ SEXUAL DIFFERENCES IN THE WO
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may even suppress female-oriented b
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learn to respect and to deal with t
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no female permanent secretaries in
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Hostile environment harassment occu
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instance “hostile” means that t
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■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ To lear
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helpful if the question does not ha
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❚❘ FROM VISION TO ACTION: DETER
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perspective, and she wanted both ma
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Instructions: Rate each of the foll
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❚❘ OPERATIONAL DEFINITIONS: AN
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and end users now define and redefi
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in meaningful ways. Each definition
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uilt on shared expectations and kno
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interpretations of the same or simi
Page 453 and 454:
■ Benchmarking is “. . . the pr
Page 455 and 456:
PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS We usually h
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