„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

6. Mutuality: accepting another person as equal and demonstrating willingness to
negotiate issues from a win-win stance.
These values provide a foundation for assertiveness training that is similar to the
values foundation underlying current trends in human relations, customer service, and
communication-skills training; they are also consistent with recently published
directions in HRD and organizational philosophy and culture (Deal & Kennedy, 1982;
Naisbitt, 1982; Peters & Austin, 1985; Naisbitt & Aburdene, 1985).
2. The Definition of “Assertiveness”
Assertiveness is generally defined as the ability to express oneself honestly without
denying the rights of others. This definition holds the notion of appropriateness in that
there are limits to self-expression; those limits are the boundaries of others’ rights to be
treated decently, without demands, coercion, or judgment. Therefore, one is not
assertive without being conscious of the means by which one expresses oneself. Also,
the definition does not carry the mandate that one must express oneself; one is not
compelled to say one’s truth at every turn. Instead, one has the right to talk about the full
range of thoughts and feelings if so desired, as long as that talk is not punitive to others.
Some definitions include additional behaviors, such as being direct (Back & Back,
1982), listening to others (Cawood, 1983), and expressing positive feelings (Alberti &
Emmons, 1975). Other definitions include how to express oneself, such as by feeling a
low degree of anxiety (Cawood, 1983), exercising assertive rights (Smith, 1975), and
maintaining self-respect (Baer, 1976). Still others focus on acting in one’s own best
interest as the rubric under which assertiveness falls, which may mean not expressing
oneself honestly (Alberti, 1975). Finally, assertiveness is often defined by saying what it
is not: aggressiveness, passivity, or passive-aggressiveness (see Figure 1). The concept
of assertive rights mentioned in some definitions brings us to the third dimension.
3. The Scope (Rights) of Assertiveness
Assertive rights are derived from our basic democratic rights. As human beings, we are
born with certain rights, allegedly supported by our democratic tradition. The assertive
rights that follow are those generally delineated in the literature:
1. To express thoughts and feelings. For example, an employee has the right to say
to his or her supervisor, “I’m angry because I didn’t get any overtime this week.”
2. To have thoughts, feelings, and rights respected. For example, the employee in
the previous example has the right to expect the supervisor to respond, “I respect your
right to your feelings in this matter.”
3. To be listened to and taken seriously. For example, the same employee also has
the right to expect the supervisor to respond, “I understand that you’re angry that there
was no extra work; perhaps you can have overtime next week.”
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The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer