„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

to deal with power and influence, the skill to know when to give in and when to force a
point, and the ability to generalize rather than personalize.
Because of this needed blending of talents, we believe that the competent trainer
must be androgynous. Sandra Bem (1974, p. 155) defines the androgynous person as
“both masculine and feminine, both assertive and yielding, both instrumental and
expressive.” The androgynous trainer is therefore both dominant and yielding,
combining independence and competence with playfulness and nurturing. He or she
combines a direct achievement style with a vicarious achievement style (Lipman-
Blumen, 1973). A direct achievement style reflects the need to experience satisfaction
and accomplishment through one’s own efforts; vicarious achievement implies
experiencing satisfaction indirectly through another individual with whom one strongly
identifies.
If we apply the concepts of Ornstein (as quoted in Mintzberg, 1976), we might say
that an androgynous trainer is well developed in both the right (creative skills) and left
(intellectual skills) brain hemispheres. Utilizing this terminology, we find that there are
just as few “new women” as there are “new men.” In fact, it seems that many
professional women, in their quest to be taken seriously, go through the state of
becoming men before they give themselves the permission to recapture or reintegrate
some of the tenderness and playfulness that they previously abandoned. But we note
with optimism that as the pool of assertive women increases, more and more women
models are surfacing who can be assertive without being oppressive or noncaring.
LEADERSHIP AND TRAINING STYLES
As women search for role models and try successfully or unsuccessfully to become like
their male colleagues and mentors, they are often awkward. They may try to take charge
or express anger in a manner similar to that of some charismatic male guru, only to feel
even more inept because they have violated their own integrity.
Women’s leadership styles have been traditionally characterized by the hostess role.
Women have learned to be pleasant—perhaps excessively so; to smooth over conflict; to
be preoccupied with bringing people together; to be more concerned with feelings than
with “getting the job done”; to smile—perhaps too much; to allow themselves to be
interrupted; to let their voices trail off when they are making an important point; to
laugh at the end of an assertive sentence; and to require more expertise from themselves
before offering a contribution than men demand from themselves.
Courses in public speaking are particularly useful for women trainers; accepting
opportunities to take charge and to give speeches is also worthwhile. Assertion-training
programs can help encourage self-expression—making “I” statements and repeating
one’s point even if it is for the seventh or eighth time, rather than giving up after two
tries. We do have, however, a specific concern regarding assertion training. It develops
powerful skills, but it can become verbal karate when it is practiced apart from an
overall concern for individual relationships.
The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright © 1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer ❚❘ 61