„‚ CONDITIONS THAT HINDER EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

may even suppress female-oriented behavior and penalize other women for
exhibiting it.
■ Women in the workplace may feel isolated from the mainstream of business
because men exclude them regularly from mentoring and “bonding” activities.
■ Women do not grow up being rewarded for successful confrontation (saying how
one feels about something or facing a situation or person head-on). Instead,
women tend to be rewarded for serving as the peacemakers; therefore, they may
have to learn the confrontation skills that are necessary in order to keep tasks on
track.
■ Men can learn to share their skills, their task-management strategies, and their
teamwork expertise with women in order to create a better work environment.
■ Women can learn to share their relationship and listening skills, their multipletask
management skills, and their detail orientation with men in order to create a
better work environment.
■ Women can learn to express their emotions in ways that focus on task-related
issues.
■ Men can learn to focus more on implementation, rather than just on “the big
picture.”
Many of the perceived differences between men and women are, in fact, backed up
by research. Gilligan (1982), a psychologist and professor at Harvard University, studied
developmental differences between men and women. She concluded that men and
women speak differently—hence the title of her book, In a Different Voice. Gilligan also
maintains that the theory of separation or “individuation” from the mother as a
developmental process has been formulated by men (Erikson, 1963; Levinson, 1978),
whose theories assume that development then proceeds toward autonomy. Gilligan
argues that this focus emanates from a male point of view but that, in reality, males and
females experience maternal contact differently. Mothers perceive sons as being
different from themselves. Consequently, separation and the formation of “ego
boundaries” are more emphasized with males and they become more associated with the
internal world. Mothers experience female children as being like themselves, so they
tend to parent them differently. Female separation and individuation occur at a slower
rate; thus, female children perceive themselves as less differentiated from others, as
more connected to the external world. Gilligan concluded that these primary parenting
differences lead to a strengthened capacity for empathy among women, along with a
stronger basis for experiencing the needs of others.
In other words, young males and females experience relationships and issues of
dependency differently: Masculinity is defined through separation; femininity is defined
through attachment. Women define themselves in terms of relationships, are threatened
by separation, and have difficulty with individualization. Men define themselves in the
context of individualization, are threatened by attachment, and have difficulty with
The Pfeiffer Library Volume 6, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer ❚❘ 423