The Devils Deception by Imam Ibn AL-Jawzi

Chapter Ten: Devil's Deception of the Ascetics and the Worshipers
while being the person most occupied with the Hereafter.
Abii Bakr and cumar (rat/!JAl/dhu 'anhuma) used to dye their hair
with penndwhile being the most god-fearing and ascetic from among
the Companions.
So, whoever claims to have reached a level that is higher than that
required by the Sunnah and the actions of the great Muslims; then
he should be ignored.
Other ascetic men choose to be always silent, and never mix with
their families to the point that their families dislike them because of
their bad manners.
They forget the Prophets () saying: "Your family has rights over
you." He () used to joke with others, and play with children and
chat with his wives. He once raced with cA'ishah (rat/!JAlldhu 'anha),
as well as many other pleasant manners.
This person claiming to be ascetic has made his wife as if she had
no husband and his children as if they were orphans. He is never
there for them, and treats them with bad manners. Some ascetic
people become too rigid to the point of not having any sexual desires.
They stop performing obligatory rituals, and focus on things
that are not obligatory instead. They believe that not doing so would
occupy him from attending to the afterlife. They do not realise due
their ignorance, that being pleasant toward one's family is part of
attending to the afterlife.
The Prophet () told Jabir (ratf fy.AJ/dhu 'anhu): ''Why do not you
marry a virgin, so you play with her and she plays with you."145
145 Bukhari 9 /104 and Muslim, #715.
265